Memento Mori
by Darth-Vulturnus
Summary: Shonen manga are fun reads, but when you get stuck in one as your afterlife? Less so. After all, just think of all the ways you could die...again. I demand to see the afterlife's manager, because I want a refund. OC Self-Insert. IGNORE FINAL A/N, STORY IS DEADER THAN DEAD.
1. Hunted

**覚えておいてください死にます** (Oboete oite kudasai shinimasu)

 **Or in a language more familiar:**

 **Memento Mori**

 **Prologue**

 **:-:-:-:**

Death is an interesting thing. In a moment, one ceases to exist in the realm of atomic particles, physics and otherwise four-dimensional space. Or so some hypothesize. After all, 'dead men tell no tales.' Do we cease existence entirely? Is death merely another great adventure so long as we have a well organized mind? Regardless, the point is we can't possibly know until we die.

At least in reality. Fiction is a wholly different ball game. If you had asked me if I wanted to join a fictional universe post-death, _Bleach_ would not have been my first choice. I honestly would have chosen something like _My Little Pony_ , though I must say _Pokémon_ would be my first choice. Yep, I said it. Go ahead and laugh. Somewhere the conflicts were trivial, nobody fought seriously to the death and people just enjoyed life. The point is, a relatively serious shonen manga is not the peaceful afterlife I wanted, even if I knew the plotline and the general mechanics said universe operated on inside and out. What a drag.

My first post-mortem sensation was touch. I felt the soft grass underneath my fingertips, brushing against my face and my toes. Which was a distinctly odd feeling, as I knew I had been wearing shoes when I died. But here I was, having apparently face-planted and wearing a loose pair of karate pants and a changshan shirt with a black haori over it. Which struck me as off, because why the hell would I be wearing a Chinese shirt in an otherwise clearly Japanese afterlife? But on closer inspection, upon closer inspection of the texture, color and patterns, I kinda understood. It was rusty brown, with golden and red dragons across it. It was...mine. Or at the very least an exact replica of the one I had when I was alive. All of my clothes were.

From a theoretical perspective, what a soul wears should be influenced by the soul when it passes over, similar to your own mental image of yourself. Since I figured I was somehow stuck in _Bleach_ from the moment I got sent over by a shinigami, I suppose I subconsciously called up my Asian clothing to not stand out as much. Of course, I have zero proof for my theory aside from my own speculations, since such things are never discussed in the manga or anime.

Speaking of which, I'm not totally sure which I'm in. Nor am I sure which is better. The filler material from the anime could be beneficial, or not. Either way, I have no way of knowing without finding out where exactly I am in the timeline. Best case scenario, I'm concurrent with the year I died, meaning I'm past all the serious action, as apparently the Quincy Blood War took place in 2003, and Kubo said it was the final arc. Worst case, I'm anywhere before that and Aizen and/or Kurotsuchi decide I'm a great test subject, Yamamoto decides I'm a threat or a Quincy kills me.

See? This is why shonen manga are fun to read, but not fun to be part of. A roar from my left alerted me to the danger just slightly too late. A massive set of claws raked my chest as I leapt back. That's gonna leave some scars if I live through this bullshit.

Another look around me would have me face-palm in any not life or death scenario. Apparently this hollow, as it must be, had been hiding here for a while, as the area was littered with various trinkets and trophies. Clearly I have failed a spot check.

Since my survival chances were pretty low anyway, I stupidly grabbed the first weapon I could. The lizard hollow can't have been terribly smart, as it gave away its attack earlier.

As it swung its spiked tail at me, I met it with a thrust of the metal bō. Not my smartest decision, but I just needed to hold it off until I could disengage and run. On the other hand, I do know some bōjutsu, so I was in better shape than if it had been a katana.

Another swipe was deflected as the battle raged on. Okay, perhaps battle is stretching it. It was really just me trying to avoid being hit, which was working out pretty well. Unfortunately, my torso wound is taking its toll.

The last thing I remember before I passed out from cumulative blood loss is a shinigami captain defeating the hollow in one fell stroke. Show off.

* * *

 **Disclaimer: Still don't own the rights to Bleach.**

 **Authors Note:** So I finally decided to write an SI-fic. I mean, why not? So here we go. If I hit Sue territory, for the love of all, tell me, though I'm gonna try avoiding that. *crosses fingers in hope*


	2. Lazarus Rising

**覚えておいてください死にます** (Oboete oite kudasai shinimasu)

 **Or in a language more familiar:**

 **Memento Mori**

 **Chapter One**

 **:-:-:-:**

Blood was the last thing I remember.

"Ah, you're awake."

I'm lying on cot, my wounds having been bandaged and overall this seems too good to be true.

"Tell me, how do you feel?"

I try to snicker, but it gets stuck and I end up coughing a glob of blood, "Like I just did something wonderfully stupid."

Let's get a handle on my surroundings, after all, failing a second spot check would not be helpful. I'm now sitting on a cot in a traditional Japanese house, with the shinigami captain who saved me sitting across from me, legs and arms crossed. If I had to describe him without being too wordy, I'd have to say he generally looks kinda like Laurence Fishburne crossed with Morgan Freeman. With him facing me, I can't tell what division he's in charge of.

This could go both ways. It could be that he's a new captain to replace the ones lost to the Quincy War, or he could be a captain from way before canon. But it does rule out a certain time segment, as I'm now certain I'm not in the Turn back the Pendulum mini-arc.

"That's too be expected. Not many pluses have the guts to take on a hollow. It was...impressive, even if you lost."

Bowing my head in thanks, a sudden question hits me. "Why can I understand you? I'm speaking English right now, but this is a Japanese afterlife, so you should be speaking..."

Cutting me off with a hand wave, he stands and looks out the window. "We are souls, you know, not humans anymore. Do you believe that any language barriers exist in this place? Do you think you're speaking English right now?"

My thought process comes to a grinding halt, theories instantly tossed and more forming. Pondering for a moment, I ask, "Though does that apply for spoken language only? What about written? It sounds like English to me because I think it should, no?"

His smile is both reassuring and terrifying, "You are...generally correct. Spoken language is translated to the language the speaker is most comfortable with, for the most part, with rare exceptions. Writing is not."

"But I...This is gonna suck. I should be able to pick up kanji because I'm moderately proficient in Chinese, but I know nothing of hiragana or katakana. What a drag."

Sitting backing in his chair, he muses on something for a minute before looking at me once again, "Have you given any thought to becoming a shinigami? Your reiryoku isn't the largest, but from what I can tell, it's very dense. Oddly so. Like comparing mercury to water in comparison to most shinigami. I wonder...It's surprising the hollow could actually damage you. But I'm just hypothesizing now. By the way...I never did introduce myself. Yasuo Shihōin, 2nd Division Captain."

I gulped, as anything odd is bad. Particularly because almost everyone considered a 'bad guy' has a raging hard on for insane science and experiments with anything different. Because aren't the group best known from having extremely dense reiryoku the arrancar? Situation slowly reaching FUBAR. Why does this have to happen to me? Why couldn't I just have been average? And now he introduced himself, and now I have to do the same and oh god why did it have to be someone from the Shihōin clan? And dear god the second division that means he's a professional spy and killer and I'm so screwed if he decides he doesn't like me.

Okay, calm, now a Japanese name that won't stand out too terribly much, "Minato Tatsushiro, now aspiring to be a shinigami."

His laugh surprises me, perhaps because it wasn't the reaction I was expecting, "You know, I know that's just a name you've given yourself, as you clearly aren't from Japan. Though if that is what you wish to be known by now, I'll respect that, Minato."

Balancing my chin on my left knuckles, I look towards the sky, "So what would you recommend in my new journey to become a shinigami? Any sort of training beforehand, or should I just show at the academy? Are they just looking for people with enough power, or are they looking for technique basic proficiency? My guess is the former, as the second would eliminate nearly all Rukongai residents...Of course, when I have such a good source of information, why not just ask?"

"You're correct in your guess. Just enough power is plenty. You'll be fine. If you manage to prove you're as talented a fighter as you are a philosopher, I might even give some private lessons. Of course, you'd be required to join the second division on graduation then..."

Possible private lessons with a captain? Sold, regardless of whether I have to join the second after. He could have named just about anything as a price, and that's all he asks for? He's playing some sort of long game here, but the opportunity is too good to pass up. After all, I have to improve then, right? And no matter how manipulative he turns out to be, being a rook, bishop or knight is far better than being a pawn. Calculated risk and reward...for both of us.

 **:-:-:-:**

 _Circa 2 1/2 years later, around mid-August, and to my great distress, the year 1550._

Shin'ō Academy is an interesting place, to greatly downplay my initial euphoria. It's massive, and generally reminds me of a college in design with obvious traditional Japanese building styles. That today is the semesters entrance exam seems lucky, but I know better. Captain Shihōin wouldn't send me here at any other time. Neither of us hold much stock in coincidence, as I have since found out.

The entrance exam seems to pretty simple, contrary to what _Bleach_ fan fiction would like to tell me. We go in a line, and when it's our turn we churn out as much reiatsu as we can manage. Of course, those without the proper control aren't accepted. Poor Ichigo, he would never get in. From there, our levels put us in the various classes. After each semester, apparently, we are then resorted based on our grades. Luckily, I've had a bit of training in this.

 _*_ _Flashback_ _*_

 _It was after I accidently destroyed some of the furniture by exerting the full force of my reiatsu. Apparently shinigami reiatsu could manifest similarly to their zanpakutō, like how the head captain's reiatsu was fiery and I knew that Toshiro and Rukia had cold and icy reiatsu. That mine had warped and distorted my surroundings into...something, something that both was and wasn't under the full force of my heavy reiatsu was mildly disturbing._

 _"Would you by any chance like a lesson in how to moderate your reiatsu, so it doesn't affect your environment like that?"_

 _Raising an eyebrow, though I know I need this and can't really refuse, "And the price?"_

 _A smirk, the bastard, "Consider it a free trial on my teaching. After all, you could really be something in the future. An investment on my part if you must see it that way."_

 _*_ _Flashback End_ _*_

"Minato Tatsushiro, Class 1."

Well, no surprises there, not to sound arrogant or anything. I've always been a good student, when I can muster up the effort to actually do my homework and such. And now I'm going back to school. Probably for six years. Such a drag.

I would have liked to join earlier, put not writing Japanese fluently would be a huge drag and massively hinder me forever. So a few years to make sure I had good writing skills and a decent ability to temper my reiryoku. Building a foundation, or whatever.

My room is my own. And by that, I mean that those in class one, the most advanced class, are given individual rooms to best facilitate our study abilities. I don't have much in the way of stuff. I still have the metal bō, after all Rukongai can be a dangerous place. A few sets of clothes, but not much in the way of personal items, as such things have a tendency to go missing. Adding the new academy uniforms to my pile, my new katana is lying at the base of my bed.

* _Flashback_ *

 _The academy headmaster, I assume, given the deference all the teachers give him, pins us all with a look before we are given our asauchi._

 _"Don't let anything happen to it. After all, this weapon is your life."_

* _Flashback End_ *

I almost wanted to ask "Why so serious?" but I have been decently versed in tact and when wise-cracking is unhelpful and outright detrimental. An asauchi though. Many shinigami, the rank-and-file, will never really move beyond this stage. For whatever reason, they will never achieve Shikai, much less Bankai. For someone currently dedicated to survival, the prospect of not getting to that point when those trying to kill me will at least be captain level including bankai is hilariously terrifying. So, the solution is simple. Failure, in anything, is simply not an option, regardless of how much of a drag it is at times.

Luckily, I've been in the habit of writing things down, as I reach into my bag and grab an empty notebook and pencil, which to this day, I'm not sure how I acquired in 1550. I have my theories, but they are just that, and will have to wait.

 _Zanpakutō Theory-Part One_

 _Fact: All Shin'o Academy students are given an asauchi upon entrance._

 _Fact: Many shinigami will never active Shikai._

 _Fact: Fewer still will reach Bankai._

 _Hypothesis: Impact of reiatsu insertion into asauchi affects growth._

 _Question: Is reiatsu size and potency quantifiably measurable?_

 _Fact: Shinigami must prove their worth to their zanpakutō before learning the name._

 _Fact: Test is individual and unique to each zanpakutō._

 _Question: If zanpakutō are formed from owners soul, why must worth be proved?_

 _Fact: Asauchi are all made by that guy... Ōetsu Nimaiya, of the Royal Guard._

 _Hypothesis: Asauchi are a base mold._

 _Hypothesis: Some shinigami lost against their zanpakutō._

 _Hypothesis: Some shinigami simply don't have the power to enter an inner world in the first place._

I suppose that in the future, more research will be needed. But for now, I can test some of my theories, on myself and my new asauchi. Gathering my reiryoku, which I have subsequently learned is a dull silver not unlike mercury, I focus it towards my sword. It greedily drinks it up. That was...unexpected. Interesting though. Notes must be taken. I can't afford to slack when my life is on the line.

 **:-:-:-:**

 **So we reach the Academy. To be honest, I skipped my stay in Rukongai because of Law of Conservation of Detail. From my perspective, nothing of importance besides me gaining some knowledge really happened there that wasn't covered. Would you like a chapter about a hermit in the woods learning written Japanese? It's technically important, but only in the sense of justification for what would otherwise be a hand-wave.**

 **But yep, we got the year I got stuck in, which is important. In fact, if I mention it, it's probably important in some fashion down the line. Unless it's a red herring.**

 **Also, before someone calls me on my mercury reference and how they wouldn't have called it that in 1550, I know. But since I established that, to me, almost all spoken language sounds like the modern English I know and am comfortable with, whatever word used for mercury back then would just sound like mercury to me. In comparison, for most people in** _ **Bleach**_ **whose first language is Japanese, whatever I say in English sounds like the (archaic in some cases) Japanese they know.**

 **Yes, there are some references to other works here, hurrah.**

 **Since this is currently nearly five hundred years before canon, expect lots of OCs and general world building. And on another note, my theories on how the** _ **Bleach**_ **world works on a more detailed level not discussed in canon is going to be a pretty constant thing most of the time. It's just the kind of person I am.**

 **If this veers into AU territory later on, well that's just me taking some artistic liberty in fan fiction.**


	3. Survival of the Fittest

**覚えておいてください死にます** (Oboete oite kudasai shinimasu)

 **Or in a language more familiar:**

 **Memento Mori**

 **Chapter Two**

 **:-:-:-:**

The Academy has four required classes: Hohō, Hakuda, Zanjutsu and Kidō. While I would like to be awesome and claim mastery in all four, I would be lying. It was simply a matter of prioritization. So I did: Hohō, Kidō, Hakuda and Zanjutsu. I wasn't...horrible or anything in any, but in Zanjutsu, my least focused subject, I'm only above average. I'm not terribly worried about that, given that I'm top of the class in the two that get the majority of my attention. My zanpakutō seems to know I'll not be relying on dueling any time soon, as it's gone and shaped itself as a tanto, not that anybody else barring the pain in the ass known as Yasuo Shihōin knows that. Ah well, up my sleeves it shall go. Now I just need to get another weapon that can play the part.

My answer never just comes to me, so I'm forced to do this myself. Well sort of. I have recently come into possession of a jitte lined on the interior frame and tips with sekkiseki. Wonderful. As for how I got such thing? Well, what can I say? It fell off the back of a truck.

 _Treatise on Alternate Fighting Methods_

 _When fighting with a non standard weapon, obviously non standard methods must be employed. Now aside from Zanjutsu, I can pull from a variety of methods. For example, the Jedi had seven different weapon forms. Of which I plan to make a, admittedly bastardized, form of each on the basic principles I remember._

 _Form One: Basic, uncomplicated, building block._

 _Form Two: Dueling form, , personally important, extremely complicated._

 _Form Three: Defensive, outlast opponent, no attacks._

 _Form Four: Aggressive, acrobatic, weak in confined space._

 _Form Five: Counter strikes, mildly defensive, predictable._

 _Form Six: Generalized form, no weaknesses, no specialties._

 _Form Seven: All attack, very powerful, little defense_

 _It can be theorized that I will be unable to effectively translate them all, as a sword like weapon is far different than that of a club like weapon. However, given the special properties of my jitte, some of the forms in particular stand out to me. Those are three and seven. While I shall start with one, as supposedly it's the building block for the others, and six comes last, I have the feeling I shall probably use a combination of the tactics from three and seven. How, I'm not quite sure yet. Perhaps I shall just stick to three and attack with Kidō? There are plenty of hadō I am quite skilled with._

 _In fact, considering the fact that a jitte was originally developed because_

-Knock-

"Yes? Who is it? Whatever you may be selling, I'm not interested." I say, even though I know damn well who it is from his reiatsu. I can almost imagine the jerk's eye twitching.

"Get out here, commoner! We're having a rematch!"

I sink my face into my left palm, "Must we, oh honorable Shiba?"

Say I brown-nose, but I have no intention of instigating the resident stuck up noble of my class, Neji Shiba, when his family probably holds a seat or two in the Central 46. He's my 'rival' in the loosest sense of the word. More like he just can't stand the thought of not being the best simply because he's the only one in our year from one of the great five noble families.

"Yeah, because it must have been a fluke that you beat me! I'd never lose to commoner like you in a fair match! I'm gonna be captain of the 10th when I get older, so I can't lose to someone like you."

Facing him is always a tad intimidating, not that I'd ever tell him that. He kinda looks like Ichigo's dad Isshin actually, and I have not ruled out the possibility that my school rival could be Ichigo's grandfather, which would make a hilarious conversation starter with Ichigo later on, and is at least half a foot taller than me, putting him at around...like 6'3" to my measly 5'7".

He's the type of person who insists on explaining his powers to the enemy and conducting fair fights. Not to mention he has his Shikai already. Of course, so do I, but I'm intentionally hiding that fact for the moment, as I have no desire to be labeled a 'prodigy' and have a target painted on my back by skipping these last couple years. Not to mention he uses his Shikai as a girl magnet, whipping it out all the time, even though he has also decided not to graduate early. As a noble, he can choose if he wants to graduate early or not, as he has the requisite skill. In a similar situation, I would just be hurled out to the front lines, being a nobody commoner. In other words, he's the type of person who utterly disgusts me.

 **:-:-:-:**

Unfortunately, despite my disgust with Neji Shiba, we are the two top students in our year. Now, I could just fight the students below us, but that wouldn't be helpful to either of us given we're leaps and bounds above them. So against our reservations, we spent quite a lot of time together.

"Hey, come on, you tired or something?"

His nodachi comes down in an overhead arc and I can barely bring my jitte up to block, sending me to my knees. I give him a Kidō enhanced punch to the gut for his trouble.

Our training is supposed to be discreet, as his reputation will be apparently ruined if he's seen willing spending time with a commoner like me. I don't buy that. Luckily for him, right behind the First Division is an old training ground that's never used anymore and has turned into a veritable swamp. It's a good place for us train, as the water both slows us down and inspires us not to lose our footing. Of course, hilarity ensues when one of us trips on an underwater root. Which used to happen all the time, but not as much over the years.

I brush some leaves off my clothes, "Nah, just been contemplating. I have a few new moves, but they aren't exactly safe to use on an ally."

A few screams from Rukongai and draw our attention. A hollow?

I clear my throat nervously, "Do we risk checking that out? Or do we just pretend nothing happened?"

Neji fixes me with the most intense glare I've ever seen from him, "Of course we have to help! What kind of protectors of souls would we be if we didn't?"

"Living ones?"

He raises a fist, and I think I can hear him grinding his teeth in frustration.

I release a sigh, "Alright, alright. Let's go. If we die I won't forgive you."

 **:-:-:-:**

The situation is far worse than we could have imagined. A whole horde of Gillians are tramping about this section. We'd ask where the shinigami are, but they have an annoying tendency to not care about Rukongai.

"Satsujin, Kubikiribōchō!"

His nodachi becomes a massive broadsword curved at the tip with hole at the tip and a semicircle indent at the bottom. It's...actually kinda impressive, even if it's the millionth time I'm seeing it. Maybe it's guy thing? After all, giant swords are cool. Though I do have to wonder if he's compensating for something...

The hollows don't notice us until he cuts one in half. They may be quite strong compared to us, but we have the three advantages of intelligence, tactics, sanity and an almost...oh drat. Well you know what I mean.

"Hey Shiba, think you can keep them distracted for a sec?"

Darting into the fray, his only yell is, "Of course I can! Just who the hell do you think I am?"

Rolling up my sleeves and holding out my hand, I begin, "Seeping crest of turbidity. Arrogant vessel of lunacy! Boil forth and deny! Grow numb and flicker! Disrupt sleep! Crawling queen of iron! Eternally self-destructing doll of mud! Unite! Repulse! Fill with soil and know your own powerlessness! Hadō #90: Kurohitsugi!"

I vaguely hear a cry, "The hell Tatsushiro! Since could you do that anyway?!"

I drop to one knee as the sky darkens as the towering black box forms around a group, and that's it? That's like..a fifth of them and there's no way I can use this spell four more times. After all, even Aizen didn't (won't? Damn you time travel tense trouble!) use this spell casually at full power, even for all his self-vaunted strength.

Any besides, that was the only group. All the rest are spread out. My power, while great, is not so much that any low level Kidō will do more that put some scorch marks on their masks. And I most certainly do not have the juice at this point in time to be throwing high level Kidō like toys. I can probably manage one...maybe two depending on a few factors. Like incantation or not, and which particular Kidō I choose.

There's a few Gillians somewhat close together, close enough that I can probably get them with a decent AoE Kidō. None of them are lined up in a way that would be convenient. Ah well.

Appearing in what's approximately the middle of the group, I charge up power to my jitte, "Hadō #78: Zangerin!"

"Stop showing off Tatsushiro! Now get up here and back me up!"

Shrugging, I shunpo up to his position while drawing my tanto. At the edge of my peripheral vision, I notice the only Gillian with a unique mask escaping back through the Garganta. Interesting, so Gillians with a personality can sense the flow of battle. Funny, because we put on a good show with that blitz, but we can't maintain it. We're good actors though.

He raises an eyebrow, "So that's your zanpakutō? Was the jitte to just throw people off then?"

I just blink at him for a second, "Wow, you catch on quick," Tilting my heading slightly and closing my eyes, I give my best innocent smile, "Of course, if you tell anyone, I'll castrate you in your sleep."

I smirk as I notice an involuntary shiver, "Well, nothing for it I suppose. Not pointing trying to be hero against Gillians. Maka Modoshi, Renzokutai!"

If I had to describe the released stated of my zanpakutō, you wouldn't find it very intimidating. I mean, it's a wrist gauntlet with a something that looks like some kinda of small projectile launcher. Efficient perhaps, but not terrifying or awe-inspiring. Funny thing is, it's not a projectile weapon. And it's horrifying.

Neji Shiba laughs, "What are you going to do with that? Poke them to death?"

My zanpakutō does not take being mocked well, which results in her throwing a fit in my head until I calm her down. What that says about me I'll contemplate at a later time.

I take aim at one of the Gillians and throw a punch. The mono-filament wire contained in the launcher shoots forwards at ridiculous speeds, punching through a Gillian and reducing it to bloody paste. Effectively, but gory. Like, even I think it's overkill sometimes.

"What. The. Hell. That's just-"

He never gets to finish, because next thing we know, we're both face-planting in the ground, courtesy of the two human sized hollows that we've missed by only paying attention to the giant Gillians. Now Neji may not have the knowledge, but I do. Somehow, we've missed the fact that Gillians always have a leader. And those leaders are two Vasto Lordes. Yeah, we're boned. Completely and utterly boned.

And hey, why is the air starting to heat up? That's definitely not normal.

The last thing we hear before we pass out under the effects of our injuries and too much reiatsu is the voice of an elderly man, "Dear me. Forcing the Captain-Commander to come to your aid. Hmmph, though given your opponents I shall forgive you. Banshō issai kaijin to nase, Ryūjin Jakka!"

 **:-:-:-:**

 **Author's Notes:** Old Man Genocide makes his appearance by saving our sorry asses. Had to happen sometime, given I listed him as on the character sheet. Always remember Law of Conservation of Detail. And for all you non-gamers, AoE means Area of Effect.

OC Zanpakutō Translations:

Satsujin (殺人), Kubikiribōchō (首斬り包丁). Translation: Murder, Decapitating Carving Knife. Inspiration: Design and physical attack - Naruto: Kubikiribōchō.

Maka Modoshi (巻き戻し), Renzokutai (連続体). Translation: Rewind, Continuum. Inspiration: Design and physical attack - Warhammer 40k: Harlequin's Kiss.


	4. The Devil You Know

**覚えておいてください死にます** (Oboete oite kudasai shinimasu)

 **Or in a language more familiar:**

 **Memento Mori**

 **Chapter Three**

 **:-:-:-:**

You know, these repetitions of going unconscious and then waking up somewhere I don't recognize is really a habit I'd like to break. After all, needing to be saved by old man Yama, even as an academy student, is not something I'd like widely known. Especially since I plan on becoming one someday, so always being saved by one in the nick of time seems dangerous. After all, people will eventually expect me to do this for them.

I find myself standing in a forest. Except that giant multicolored mushrooms occupy the space where trees usually are. Not to mention nothing seems to keep a consistent form. The height and blade shapes of the grass keeps changing. The direction the mushrooms face constantly alters as well. You know, last time I was, I never noticed the little details like that before. Of course, last time I was here for any extended length of time, my zanpakutō was trying to change the consistency of my body to chunky salsa(1). All that time working on shunpo really paid off.

Speaking of which, I'm not here sure where she's at right now. Whimsical is a good word to describe her the majority of the time, except when she gets serious, which kind of my opposite. I'm fairly serious most of the time. Or I act it, at least. My musing is interrupted by a sudden case of blindness, a body pressing up against my back and a pair of legs wrapped around my waist.

"Surprise! Guess who!"

I would have face palmed, but currently her hands are in face, "Hello Renzokutai."

She removes her hands and sulks for a moment, "Boo. Can't you at least pretend to play along? Lighten up!"

Rolling my eyes, "How did you know which path I would take? I knew my reiatsu was cloaked..."

Giggling, she leans back, so far back that her feet leave the ground, leaving her supported in midair only by, I guess, the fairy like wings sticking out her back, "By using my special powers, duh."

This time I do face-palm. Of course my zanpakutō was vague until you dragged a specific answer out via tooth and nail. I should have expected it. After all, zanpakutō are just like their masters. Doesn't make it any less frustrating to have the situations reversed though. Of course, zanpakutō, right before Shikai is achieved, can technically count as a sapient being. And thus, have their own wishes, hopes, dreams, feelings and issues.

Clenching my first, I narrow my eyes at her, "Tell me Renzokutai. Tell me what abilities you been hiding from me. And why would you do such a thing in the first place?"

Drifting away, she calls out to me, "Why don't you just try to catch me? It's the only way you'll figure it out. After all, I don't need to explain myself to you."

Why that...Well you what they say. "When life gives you lemons, don't make lemonade. Make life take the lemons back! Get mad! I don't want your damn lemons, what the hell am I supposed to do with these?(2) "

Wait...that doesn't sound right. Well, whatever.

She's not even bothering to hide, so she's probably quite confident in whatever ability she has.

Well, just standing here isn't going to help, so taking aim at her, "Hadō #32: Ōkasen!"

She fragments into pink shards of glass as soon as the spell hits. An illusion-type? Possible. But unlikely. That's not my style.

I stiffen as I feel her breath on the back of my neck, her soft voice right in my ear, "Ranged attacks won't help you figure it out you know. They'll narrow the field, but you'll still have to guess cause I won't tell you right now."

As instantly as she was there, she's gone, disappeared into the wood again. Just bloody peachy.

 **:-:-:-:**

When I finally catch her, which took quite some time I may add, I'm in a terrible mood. After all, playing hide and seek with my zanpakutō is not my idea of fun. Add in the fact that she has no problem avoiding me. I had to do the most random things to get here. It's good no one else is in here with us. Our currently rather...compromising position would give most people the wrong impression.

"Oh fine, you got me. Now you wanted to know how I always tended to know where you would be until you started going randomly."

I raise an eyebrow, "If I let you go Ren, will you run away again?"

"Nah, you got me. It'd be no fun anymore. You figured out the way around it."

I lean my back against the mushroom tree, she sits perpendicular to me and rests her head in my lap and begins, "It was simply really. In any given situation, there are only so many possible choices that can be made. Every choice creates an alternate timeline in a parallel universe, or something like that. But the point is that some choices have a higher probability of being made, and thus appear in more timelines. That's why you could catch me when you started being random. By not choosing logically, it distorts my prediction abilities. "

"So your ability is to see all the possibilities, and thus consequences, of any actions? Your explanation makes it sound more statistical than that..."

She smiles at me, "Oh, it is. You can't see what path someone else will take. But you can see the path they most likely will take. As I said, barring obvious differences in strength, anyone who likes to plan things out extensively will be in trouble, as they can become predictable especially when you know how they tend to think, while improvisers will make this ability effectively useless. It's just a matter of knowing your opponent."

Frowning, I narrow my eyes at her, "That seems suspiciously rigged to be super effective against the villains from canon, what with their obsession with 'all according to plan' and the like..."

A shrug, "Of course it is. You specifically knew they would be a threat to your continued existence, and spent quite some time fretting over how best to make sure you live while making sure you don't alter the canon so much that they win. Obviously that would affect my development. Duh."

Closing my eyes and nodding, "Anything else I should know about? Like how you shattered and then teleported behind me?"

A soft laugh, "My name in Renzokutai. I simply jumped backwards through time. It wasn't teleportation, it's temporal reloading. Think of it as form of personalized save scumming. It doesn't affect others though, only you. And don't think you can use it to survive something instantly fatal if it connects. Use the ability to dodge. Maybe our Bankai could save us, I don't know, but Shikai definitely not."

 **:-:-:-:**

I'm not quite sure where I am when I wake. If I had to take my guesses, the Fourth Division is where I'd expect. I'm not sure who I'm hoping is the captain in this time: Retsu Unohana or Tenjirō Kirinji. Actually, I lied. I really hope it's not Kirinji. He may be a better healer, but this isn't a battlefield. I don't need to be healed immediately. Unohana's bedside manner would be much better. The battle is over, after all, Yama even went and unsealed his zanpakutō, so the only survivor will be that Gillian who made a strategic retreat before he arrived. Speaking of which...

 _Notes on Gillian escapee:_

 _Standard Gillian apart from mask_

 _Mask kinda looked like a...deer? An antelope? Some kinda of quadruped herbivore._

 _Which is strange, wouldn't most hollows be carnivores?_

 _Gillians with masks have enough of a personality to try to run._

 _Escaping when the battle seems to be losing indicates a far higher level of intelligence that is not normal for any hollow except Arrancar and Vasto Lordes._

 _Said Gillian probably has Vasto Lordes potential._

 _Perhaps one of the later Espada?_

 _Hopefully noted Gillian is encountered again, as further observation would be helpful._

"Ah, so you're awake."

Unohana. Good. While I may have had a brief desire to learn under Kirinji, technically I've already been poached by Shihōin and the second. After all, an academy student, no matter how skilled, would not have the access to such high level Kidō. Somehow I think being a professional ninja will save me a lot of grief when we finally get to the Quincy Blood War, assuming I live that long.

Which I have no guarantees of. And as much as it makes me implicitly condoning his actions, I have to invoke Hitler's Time Travel Exemption Act(3) on Aizen, Gin and Tōsen. After all, Ichigo has to be born, which very well may not happen otherwise. Damn it. Damn it all to hell.

 **:-:-:-:**

I think we all have an idea of how boarding schools rumor mills go. The fact that Neji Shiba and Minato Tatsushiro had taken on several Gillians was known to probably literally every student and teacher by the next week when we returned to our classes after being fully healed. They ranged from something similar to reality, "They took down several Gillians with some pretty serious injuries afterwards," to the exaggerated by our fans, "They totally wiped out an entire of Gillians and only passed out from reiatsu exhaustion!" to totally downplayed by our haters, "Those idiots tried to be heroes, got their asses kicked and had to be saved by the Captain-Commander himself."

Neji totally beat up the guy who started the last one. It was pretty funny. A Kuchiki would just have ignored it or made some dickish comment about trampling on their pride. I guess it shows that not all nobles are created equal.

But there are several benefits to the whole expedition: Neji got to show he wasn't just all talk, I proved I wasn't totally a shut-in nerd and we can now officially hang out together in public without social consequences. Of course, there were some consequences too: we had some bad injuries and have some permanent scars, we're under deep scrutiny from the top brass and worst of all, I now have...fan girls.

 **:-:-:-:**

 **Author's Notes:** So an exposition heavy chapter. I'm sorry? But this is in first person, so most of it is my thoughts on things. No real action either. Happens. But I'm thinking either this chapter or the next will be the last chapter in the Academy before we move on. By the way, anyone want chapter names as opposed to just the standard blandness?

So yeah, I'm gonna make an attempt to not leave anything a hand-wave. Hopefully I can justify whatever comes up. An on that note, I am kinda looking for a beta. They wouldn't have to do much grammar work (that's my strong point), but I do occasionally make some typos that I miss. Also, they need to mainly be someone I can bounce ideas off, work with me on dialogue (a weaker point for me) and call me out for Sue-ing if that happens, so I can fix it before y'all get to read the final print. If interested, just send me a PM.

Also, the first person to correctly guess the importance of the Gillian to the plot gets a tray of fresh baked virtual cookies. And now for something completely different! Would adding a pairing later on be consider too much personal wish fulfillment? I mean, it depends how well it's done, but still. I guess just get tell me your opinions?

Reviews on this site are a real Catch-22: you need reviews to draw people to read your work, but can't get reviews without people reading it. Come on guys, throw me a bone here. If you like it, leave a review so that more people will read it.

-Footnotes-

1: A informal rule in games that any attack that would reduce a character's head and/or body to the consistency of chunky salsa is instantly fatal, regardless of other rules. Basically the principle my zanpakutō works on in its physical attack.

2: This wonderful quote is from the Portal Franchise, courtesy of the insanity know as Cave Johnson.

3: For those who don't know, Hitler's Time Travel Exemption Act basically means you can't go back and kill Hitler to stop WWII, as something would inevitably stop you, and even if you _could_ , it would actually only make things worse in the long run. Basically the point is that I need to ensure certain events happen, because if I go around changing things, worse things will result. And while theoretically I could kill off Aizen and Tōsen early, it would probably take Ichigo out of the equation, which would be quite problematic for Yhwach and his little Quincy army.


	5. And Then There Were None

**覚えておいてください死にます** (Oboete oite kudasai shinimasu)

 **Or in a language more familiar:**

 **Memento Mori**

 **Chapter Four**

 **:-:-:-:**

The scent of blood assaults my nostrils. A hollow tries to jump me. A shot from one of our rifle-men blows a hole through its mask, destroying it. Hundreds of shinigami and hollows are locked in constant battle around us. Many of the shinigami are already corpses.

A hand hits the back of my skull, "Captain! No spacing out in battle!"

Grinning at my (sometimes) obnoxious pretty boy of a lieutenant (not that it makes him any less of a warrior, much to the envy of everyone else), I bring out both my jitte and tanto, then dive into the fray. A stray claw glances off my armor. I knew investing in this stuff was a good idea.

The Gillians are already retreating, as even my rank-and-file proved more than a match for them. The Adjuchas are a problem though. Ahh, well my seated officers should have no problem...Why is the sky darkening more than usual? It's only mid-afternoon...I think. Hard to tell.

The blackness descends, withering away Hollows and my troops. Well, that's some serious shit. I draw an invention of my from a pocket space. A resounding call from the war horn rings across the battlefield. While none ever thought it would ever be used, none of them don't know what it means. After all, the Captain of the Eleventh calling a retreat?

Rallying the remains of my division behind me, I take a quick head count. I've still got my lieutenant and my seven seated officers after that. Finally I've got about twenty rank-and-files left from the original two-hundred-fifty. So like...twenty-nine shinigami against literally hundreds of minor hollows, way too many Adjuchas and definitely a Vasto Lorde or two. That's not good odds, obviously. It's worse that both my lieutenant and I have Shikai that's really effective against single opponents, but not groups.

Just how we got talked into journeying into Hueco Mundo is a story for another time. But since there's such a powerful opponent, it wouldn't do to be unduly distracted.

Turning to face my opponent, and knowing I won't have much of a opportunity, I start mumbling as quickly as I can, "Limit of the thousands hands, respectful hands, unable to touch the darkness. Shooting hands unable to reflect the blue sky. The road that basks in light, the wind that ignited the embers, time that gathers when both are together, there is no need to be hesitant, obey my orders. Light bullets, eight bodies, nine items, book of heaven, diseased treasure, great wheel, grey fortress tower. Aim far away, scatter-"

"You ants come in my land, destroy my armies and then seek to overthrow me? Know your place! I'll crush-"

"brightly and cleanly when fired. Hadō # 91: Senjū Kōten Taihō!"

The astonished look on his face is worth is, even if it won't be as effective now that he's noticed it. Serves him right. I have an almost unfair advantage with Kidō over other shinigami. Being able to cast spells of equal strength with far less energy on my part is always helpful.

The smoke clears, and I take a good look. He's barely damaged. Well shit. I go to move, but an invisible blade hamstrings me first and I fall to my knees. The clouded miasma is all I can see now. It closes in on us, all consuming, first my subordinates. And then there were none.

 **:-:-:-:**

I sit up in my bed, gasping for breath, and recognize my surroundings. My room at the Academy. Just an interesting dream, I guess. But aren't dreams always trying to tell you something? Rolling off my bed, I write down the dream in as vivid detail as I can recall. Poor, poor me got my ass kicked by Baraggan. Though it does certainly look like Aizen wounded me so I couldn't fight back.

Taking a look outside, it's clearly still night. Going for a short walk down the dormitory walkway, I run headfirst into someone. Who the hell else is up at this forsaken hour? My first thoughts on the subject is that they look familiar, even though they're younger than I am, seemingly.

Extending my hand to him, "Sorry about that. Minato Tatsushiro, sixth year student. You?"

It's then that I recognize him, he's my lieutenant in my dream. That's...extremely odd. Especially when one doesn't believe in coincidence.

He gives me a soft smile, "Yumichika Ayasegawa, first year student. And it's no problem really."

Wait...Yumichika? The hell? Did my presence make ripples into the past as well? This is bad. Really, really bad. Or not. I now just need to make sure that everyone is in canon positions by the time it starts. After all, Yumichika never really garnered Aizen's attention. It's not like trying to make sure the 1901 Hollowfication incident doesn't happen. Because it needs to. And I'll need to make sure I'm part of it somehow. Both because it gives me a reason to not be in Soul Society by canon, and so my Bankai can't be stolen by the Quincy later on when they return en mass. It'll be messy and painful, but ultimately helpful.

Speaking of Aizen, is there anything I can do to hurt his cause without changing canon? Tōsen will join up no matter what, and it would be problematic if he didn't. Same with Gin. And the only way I could give him the information on Kyōka Suigetsu he needs without Aizen finding out is if I'm sure I'm not under it. Which is generally impossible. Maybe. But with the ability to see possible futures, I could probably make it work. Either that or resign myself to the fact it's impossible to get Gin the info. Aizen himself is just a bad apple. Set in stone, it needs to be.

Suddenly, the answer hits me. Nelliel. If I can somehow stage a fake thing with her, I can get her out of there without the power loss and still get all the Espada to canon correctly. After all, once canon starts, and especially after Aizen flies his true colors, I have far more wiggle room in what I can effect without blowing things to hell because Ichigo is in position. Having the former third Espada would be a major boost, especially given how handily she trashed Nnoitra in canon. But how to go about it?

Unfortunately, my zanpakutō isn't an illusion type, so this won't be as easy. I might even have to (temporarily) join up with Aizen to get close enough for this to work. God, I'm gonna have to play to the evil mentor for him just to make sure he stays on the canon track.

The things I do to make sure the future turns out reasonably alright.

 **:-:-:-:**

Graduation is a pretty easy affair. After all, we all got our acceptance letters, or rejection as it were for some of my slacking classmates, several weeks ago. I, as per my agreement with Shihōin, have only applied and thusly been accepted into the Second Division. After our headlining fight with the Gillians, Yamamoto had offered a place in the First Division to both of us. Neji is taking him up on the offer. Personally, while I wouldn't mind, I don't break my promises. That I almost never promise anything isn't really the point. I need to make sure my word is reputable and that people trust me with things.

A glorious career is what awaits me. Or will, as I'm assigned to the Inner Court Troop. Of course I would start out as a glorified messenger. Joy.

 **:-:-:-:**

 _December, 1557._

In hindsight, giving up my personality and letting my job subsume me when I'm on shift is surprisingly easy. Scarily easy, actually. But I have finally figured out why my captain had by assigned to the lowest group. For despite their jobs as the messengers, or perhaps because of it, they are the most proficient members in shunpo aside from the seated officers.

Clearly my jackass of a captain wants me to be faster. I have no problems with that. Well, I have problems with him, but not his goals. I count it as a win if I never start calling him, "Yasuo-sama." As seen by Suì-Fēng, that's a slippery slope of idolization. Poor girl never even gets to have her own opinion on anything when Yoruichi is around after they make up.

Of course, being something that adds up to being the captain's apprentice is of course quite helpful. So maybe it doesn't exactly endear me to my comrades. Luckily, that's not something I'm terribly worried about. After all, they don't really matter in the grand scheme of things.

"Done yet? You're much faster than last time. We keep working on your shunpo like this and people may start to question if you're a bastard Shihōin."

My joints are aching and I'm bruised all over, "Yeah, no one's gonna think that. My skin is the wrong color for starters. All done for today Captain. If I continue I'll end up at the fourth...again. Captain Unohana told me the next time I have to get her to heal me from training it won't be pretty for me."

He winces, clearly understanding the unholy terror that is Retsu Unohana, "Oh yeah, let's call it a day. By the way, I'm transferring you to the Executive Militia effective immediately. You have the fastest shunpo in the Inner Court Troop, and your skills will stagnate there."

 **:-:-:-:**

 _June, 1687_

Sneaking into a house is hilariously easy. Just why my level of expertise is required should be obvious. There's a rebellion going on. The one involving Kōga Kuchiki, as it were, since I've met the man. While it doesn't mean it's totally the anime as opposed to the manga. But for the sake of safety, I best now assume that all the filler arcs are a go.

Now I know Old Man Yama is gonna have Kōga basically go and single-handedly win the war, but Captain Shihōin doesn't, and it would look suspicious to have the lieutenant know such things before his captain. So here I am, off to assassinate someone or another. The first time I killed a person was a bloody messy affair, but it does get easier over time, as horrible as that sounds. But hey, the greater good is more important. After all, no one life is important enough to be weighed heavier than hundreds.

I slip through an open window into a living room. They must not know they're targets, or are exceedingly arrogant. Just to be safe, I'm guessing the second. I've done this enough times to know that if something seems to be too good to be true, it probably is.

This stupid mission has only one good side. It's supposed to send a message, so I don't have bother planting evidence and a frame job. Finding my way into the master bedroom, the husband is targeted first.

My tanto draws a bloody line across his throat as his jugular is bisected. A scream barely breaks the air before I jump around and see the now awake wife. Quickly grabbing the pillow, I manage to smother the screams while she slowly asphyxiates. That wasn't too good. Maybe I'm losing my touch?

"Why did you attack mama and dada?"

The voice if from a young girl, who looks to be around five or six. My mind takes in all the details: blonde hair, waifish, standard night clothes, primitive stuffed animal. She's standing in doorway right in front of me, silhouetted by light from the waning moon.

I frown, though it can't be seen under my mask. The reports didn't mention a kid. I'll be having a word with my scouts when I get back. But for now...

"Sorry, nothing personal. Just following orders."

Gleaming steel flashes under the moonlight, followed by the dull thuds of a beheaded body hitting a wood floor, silenced forever.

 **:-:-:-:**

 **Author's Notes:** As I've said before, nothing is chucked in for nothing. Well, past the original chapter anyway. As for the Anime vs. Manga thing, it's both. Or really, the manga with any additional filler tidbits from the anime fillers I actually liked. Not that I know that in-story. But hey, that's the problem with the GM also having a character, so I'm trying my best not to meta-game because I know how the plot goes. Or rather, my meta-gaming in story comes from a knowledge of canon, not how this particular story goes.

So this chapter I get freaked that my presences creates ripples, not just the butterfly of doom. For someone trying to trick out time into making my presence a stable time loop on canon until we reach the Arrancar Arc at least, this is a major problem. As to whether I am creating past ripples as well, wouldn't you like to know? In fact, I'd like to know as well. Still looking for a Beta, by the way.

As for my super-dense reiatsu, it kinda works like this. If you hate math, just skip this. Two options, let's call them α/Α for attack power version and β/Β for conservation power version. They are mutually exclusive and will stay that way. Incantation force multiplier will be Γ, basic attack damage Δ, basic attack energy Θ, enemy effective armor Λ, incantation added drain Ξ.

α = Δ * 13 - Λ, Θ

Α = Δ(Γ) * 13 - Λ, Θ

β = Δ - Λ, Θ/13

Β = Δ(Γ) - Λ, (Θ - Ξ)/13

...

Anyways, we've almost reached the main conflict. Just need some time to let me become a captain and then we can get the main conflict rolling. The canon stuff will come in if I do a sequel or two, as I'm tentatively planning on ending right after the 1901 Hollowfication Incident, or maybe before that. I haven't quite decided yet.

And here's your food for thought: was the beginning of the chapter just a dream, or was it In Media Res?


	6. Abandon All Hope

**えておいてください死にます** (Oboete oite kudasai shinimasu)

 **Or in a language more familiar:**

 **Memento Mori**

 **Chapter Five**

 **:-:-:-:**

 _November, 1787_

The hook of my jitte catches the incoming nodachi coming at me. My tanto makes a swipe at his hand, and he quickly draws back to avoid losing a finger. Advantage, me. Sort of. Stalemate really. Neither of us can get close enough to actually damage the other, though I'll lose eventually since escape isn't an option in a spar. My business is survival, and business is good. I won't go Shikai, as it's not something that can be used on allies. He won't because he knows I won't, and he doesn't want the unfair advantage. I've always known his attitude is stupid. But I don't mention that to him anymore. The last time... .

* _Flashback_ *

 _We were sitting on a hill in the Rukongai, District One. A large sakura tree, unfortunately not in bloom, shaded us from the harsh noon sun. None of the souls living in the area will bother us. After all, they don't know us personally, and shinigami are historically disdainful towards ordinary souls. Like they've forgotten their actual jobs. It's disgraceful._

 _Taking a glance at my friend's arm, I raise my eyebrow at the Twelfth Division's lieutenant insignia, "Congrats on your promotion. Enjoy the paperwork."_

 _Scowling at me and glancing at my own lieutenant's badge, "You know from experience?"_

 _Shuddering, I glance at the passing clouds, "Oh yeah. Blasted stuff never ends... . Neji, why do you always care so much about honor? Holding back like that's gonna get you killed one day."_

 _An eye roll, "I guess as a commoner, you wouldn't understand. As a member of one of the Five Great Houses, we have more responsibility to uphold the values and rules of Soul Society. Because if we don't set a good example, why should anybody bother with the rules and traditions?"_

 _Frowning, I contemplate his words for a moment, "But is it worth your life? You like to introduce yourself to the enemy and then exchange notes on how your respective powers work. One day you're gonna fight an enemy that is immune to any ability so long as they know how it works."_

 _I'm of course thinking of Yhwach, not that he knows that. After all, the Quincy Massacre hasn't happened yet. Oh god. I had totally forgotten that's what really kicks things off. And I'm gonna be part of it, undoubtedly._

 _Jumping to his feet, eyes blazing with anger, "You wouldn't know anything about honor, you slimy bastard! You've gotten colder ever since you joined the Second. It's always duty with you! I saw the report on the assassination of that family. Two parents, of dubious guilt, and a innocent little girl. Now I don't know who did it, they didn't say, but I have some ideas... ."_

 _I involuntarily flinch, my mental armor suffering a slight crack. Ouch, he must have wanted to say this for a while. This isn't something you just come up with. This'll be ugly._

 _He starts pacing around, "So it was you! I know you Minato Tatsushiro! You always say that it isn't personal. But have you ever considered that to your victims IT IS PERSONAL?! You'd commit the most heinous crimes if asked."_

 _Grabbing the front of my uniform, practically spitting into my face, he screams, "I'D THOUGHT YOU HAD SOME CONSCIENCE! BUT NO! FOR YOU IT'S ALL 'JUST FOLLOWING ORDERS.' ...You've changed Tatsushiro. You utterly disgust me."_

 _That was the last time we acknowledged each other's existence for the next century._

* _Flashback End_ *

I'd like to say a century isn't too much time, but I'd be lying. Turns out when you write off all your Division mates off as unimportant and don't spend much time with others in the first place, you don't make many friends. Now I consciously knew that, but losing Neji Shiba, my only real friend, really drove home just alone I really was. Oh, there was Captain Shihōin, but as my direct superior, there was a far different dynamic.

 _Time Line Notations on the Quincy_

 _Yhwach and the early Quincy: hundreds of years too late. Just gonna have to wait that one out._

 _Possible that Yhwach recruited his Sternritter from survivors of the Quincy Massacre set to occur in about a few decades?_

 _Have to keep an eye out for that, a mole would always be welcome._

 _Just really gonna have to wait this one out._

"Hey Minato, you look kinda down. Anything you want to talk about?"

My captain is standing in the doorway, looking...unusually concerned. It would absolutely catastrophic to let him see my notes though, so I quickly stuff them away. Captain Shihōin won't take a look unless he thinks I'm intentionally hiding something from him. Which I am, but I've gotten pretty good at pretending otherwise. I hope so at least. There's always a possibility he knows and just hasn't decided to confront me on it yet.

Standing up and walking over to him, I reply, "I'm alright captain. Just the stress of some things lately have been getting to me."

His arm wraps around my shoulders, "Hey, I'm going back to the Shihōin Mansion next week to visit my family, and I'd like you to come with me. And just to be clear, this isn't an order."

He wants me to do what now? Visit his family? Why? I mean, I think he wants some extra company while his elder brother brags about how skilled his daughter, Yoruichi as it were, has become of late. That asshole better not be trying to be hook me up with her, I'm like twice her age. I know Captain Shihōin can't have any children of his own, for whatever reason, so...oh, OH!

Well, now I feel like a complete jerk for the way I've treated him. After all, I'm the closest he's ever had to a child of his own as opposed to a niece or nephew.

 **:-:-:-:**

While the Shihōin Clan isn't nearly as uptight on things like proper noble protocol as the Kuchiki Clan is, they're not as laid back as the Shiba Clan. An interesting middle-ground, one might say. So really it's fairly comfortable for me. After all, Captains tend to spread the air in their Division how they like. Thus, the atmosphere is rather similar. Not nearly as oppressive as Ginrei Kuchiki and the Sixth Division, but not as lax as Jūshirō Ukitake and the Thirteenth Division.

Captain Shihōin's brother is a rather interesting man. The 21st Head of the Shihōin Clan, you would expect some level of seriousness from him. But no. Apparently Captain Shihōin got all the seriousness out of the two. Probably why he became a shinigami while his brother didn't. Though I can now see where Yoruichi and Yūshirō get their playfulness from. And speak of the devil... .

"Uncle Yasuo!"

Quickly sidestepping a flying blur that sends my captain to the ground with a resounding crash. I just pinch the bridge of my nose and the proceed to give my captain a smile so fake it almost looks real.

"Hmm, Captain, maybe we should switch positions? Seems I'm a bit faster than you now. So how about it? My badge for your haori?"

All I get in return is a half-hearted glare and some mumbles about, "Ungrateful brats... ."

Did I ever mention how weird it was to see Yoruichi as a teenager? Because it is. Considering we never don't see her as an adult, watching her grow up, kinda, is super awkward. For reasons that shall never, ever, be discussed.

Well, at the very least the worse of the two, Yūshirō, has just been born (relatively speaking for souls that age much slower than humans, god puberty must suck), so I won't have to deal with his antics for some time. Thank the...Soul King, I guess?

 **:-:-:-:**

Dinner isn't quite as awkward as I thought it would be. After all, the Captain and I pretty much just sat back and let his brother go on and on about how skilled Yoruichi, Kisuke and Tessai are getting. The man apparently has found out the secret on how to talk and breathe at the same time without making it seem like he's doing so.

A nudge on my shoulder gets my attention and I turn around to find a teenage Kisuke, "Can I help you?"

He smiles, and it doesn't look pained at all, not at all like the ones he'll give by canon time. But does he have to? Is making sure I force a stable time loop until the Fake Karakura Town Arc really worth the sacrifices? Do all these innocent souls really deserve to go through all that pain?

The answer is the one that needs to be. No, they don't deserve the pain. Not at all. But they have to go through it regardless. For the future depends on it. It's not a place I'll deserve to live myself, but for them it's worth the cost. After all, suffering on the way towards a happy ending is better than happiness towards a ending with a villain victory. And since my usual justification won't work here, I better damn well keep telling myself that. I might even start to believe it.

 **:-:-:-:**

 _December, 1785_

Neji and I are talking again, though both of us knew that our relationship would never be quite the same as it was before. After all, we had both grown and changed as people in those hundred years. Currently we're supervising a sixth-year Academy class on its konso mission in the living world. Now normally I wouldn't have bothered with such a relatively trivial thing, but this class was special. After all, this was Sōsuke Aizen's class, and I needed to be sure I was in his good graces. Or rather, insert myself as at least a philosophical mentor.

The place we come out is not anywhere I can correlate to 21st century geography, as I didn't study Japanese history that much when I was alive, when I had access to 21st century maps. But it's on the coast somewhere, as I can see either the Pacific Ocean, Sea of Japan or East China Sea, take your pick.

Hailing the group, "I'm going to do some light recon, as this is a hollow heavy area. I'm gonna make sure there's no Menos hanging around."

Most the students gain visible looks of nervousness, while one straight out shouts at me, "The hell? Why would you take us to hollow heavy area?"

I just raise an eyebrow, "Because you're the most advanced class. You think they normally send out two lieutenants with the classes?" Then pointing to my badge of office, I casually comment, "And you sure you want to yell at me? Don't you know that will just get attention from hollows?"

With the students sufficiently cowed, I look at Neji. He catches my eye and nods. I vanish into the surrounding area.

 **:-:-:-:**

My job is simple, Neji will protect the students if they can't defend themselves, and I'll take out any particularly strong hollows I find first. Simple, right? Still a drag.

"A shinigami? You'll make a tasty meal!"

Shit! Can't let myself be so distracted, "You have no idea who you're dealing with."

He really doesn't and my jitte easily dispatches the hollow before I lean back to avoid an attack that would have taken my head off. My new assailant appears to be a Vasto Lorde. In fact, the mask looks suspiciously similar, though I can't quite place it. The female hollow, I'm guessing from the giant chest, is rather like a centaur. I can't help but think I should know who this is, but the name won't come to me, so I'll review my notes later.

Besides, there's something really wrong with the place, and I intend to find out what.

Eyeing the hollow, I begin my bluff, "Go home hollow. Retreat. You have no chance of victory here, nor any reason to fight here. Unless you wish to die?"

"It doesn't matter anymore. You're right. I no longer have a reason to fight you, and without that, we're nothing but beasts. Goodbye shinigami, pray you don't give me a reason to kill you."

As she vanishes through a Garganta, I turn my attention to the strange source of energy permeating the town. Luckily for my searching efforts, it's a centralized source. Unluckily for my sanity, it's a centralized source.

In the largest mansion, there's a pedestal. And upon this pedestal is a book with a golden plague in front of it. Tracing out the letters with my fingers as I read it aloud to myself, "That is not dead which can eternal lie. And with strange aeons even death may die."

A cold wind blows into the room as I finish reading. That's some nasty shit right there. Honestly, I better take this book with. Short-sighted humans can't be trusted with this. Grabbing my reiatsu and pulling my zanpakutō out into reality, she materializes next to me.

"Hey Ren, where do you think would be a good place to keep this?"

"Hmm? Oh this old thing?" Her delicate fingers trace over the tome, but as soon as they make actual contact she jerks back as if it held electric shocks. She rounds on me, all jokes gone, "This thing is too dangerous to leave around. It can't be destroyed, I think, so we'll just have to hide it where no one can ever find it."

"And just how are we gonna do that Ren?"

She ponders for a moment before coming to a decision, "Give it to me. I'll guard it inside my world until I can find a way to chuck it into an empty timeline. Hopefully this doesn't backfire on us. But you know what this is, don't you Minato?"

I shift uncomfortably, but I can't lie to a reflection of my soul, "Yeah. I know what this is. It shouldn't exist here. Not at all. The fact that it does means something is very, very wrong with my initial calculations and assumptions. It's the _Necronomicon_. Fuck."

 **:-:-:-:**

 **Author's Notes:** Still looking for a Beta. Yeah, not too much to say this chapter. So you know the drill, if you like the story (I kinda assume you don't hate it if you've made it this far), favorite, follow and maybe actually think for a moment to write a review? Feedback is always appreciated.


	7. Point of No Return

**えておいてください死にます** (Oboete oite kudasai shinimasu)

 **Or in a language more familiar:**

 **Memento Mori**

 **Chapter Six**

 **:-:-:-:**

 _August, 1800_

"Arrancar!"

I roll my eyes, "No shit, Yumichika. What did you think they were?"

There's three arrancar and three of us, as our other squadron members are taking out the trash, so to speak. I hate these odds. Before I can even tell them my strategy, they've rushed off towards one on one battles. The idiots. We should have blitzed the weakest looking one first, to tip the odds in our favor. But no, Yumichika's gone off to solo her. Neji is taking the older girl. Leaving me with the big guy. Well, nothing to it. He seems to be all muscle but no brain.

Before he can even blink I'm in the air behind him, my tanto aiming to slide right past the vertebrae and into his skull. His giant arms wheel around and I'm forced to dodge lest I be pummeled. I may be much faster, but he's much stronger, given the air displacement, so it seems.

He points an accusing finger at me, face unbelieving, "What kind of man attacks from behind?"

"Bakudō #63: Sajō Sabaku."

There, that should hold him while I-the hell? He's breaking them? That shouldn't be possible, but I guess there's a first for everything.

"You must not be a man! No true man would fight this way!"

My eyebrow twitches a bit, as I'm not totally above insults like that, "Hadō #90: Kurohitsugi."

The black box forms, the lances of darkness presumably making a mess of his body.

I take a moment to tune in to what my comrades are up to. The almost casual flynning Neji and his opponent are engaging in make me question just what the hell that idiot's up to.

"Sakikurue, Ruri'iro Kujaku!"

Ah, so Yumichika's decided not to dick around then. His fight will be over soon. Good, good. Means I shouldn't bother screwing around either.

"Destruir, Alma Bestia!"

Raising an eyebrow at his new form, I merely comment, "So that's what the sword release of an Arrancar is like huh? How interesting."

He's gotten even bigger, there's horns coming from his head and his shoulders while mostly red fur covers his torso. So very intriguing. And so very lame compared to the ones possessed by the Espada. It's like Yammy, but less power and more annoying.

"This is how a true man fights!"

"The hell? Shut up with the man stuff! Renzokutai!"

The familiar stinger forms on my arm, and though I know I don't have a left arm weapon from my zanpakutō, I have this strange phantom feeling. It's been there ever since I came into possession of the _Necronomicon_. In fact, the stupid book has been causing all sorts of nonsense for me lately.

In a moment, I act totally not my age. I stick out my tongue and do otherwise immature things to get him to charge me. The thing is, it works. That's kind of sad. Like really sad. And I'm nearly three hundred years old at this point, so I guess I've just gone around the bend.

"I'll show you why a real man doesn't need such taunts!"

My shunpo takes me out of range of another punch, though unlike before he released, this one creates a massive crater. So he's not all talk then. In a blink he's on top of me, fist roaring towards me. Interesting, I didn't think he get so fast. At the last second, I realize it's a feint and I'm forced to bring up my jitte to block the incoming spinning roundhouse kick.

Even with all its enhancements, it shatters under the massive kinetic energy built up in that attack. The resulting explosion sends me flying uncontrollably for an entire kilometer, shrapnel from my broken jitte tearing through my body to the point that I'm forced to jump back to an earlier point in the battle. Holy shit. He looks like a joke, but that force is serious business.

The atmospheric pressure increases as he opens his mouth and begins charging a massive Cero. Perfect. It totally wasn't planned or anything, nope, I would never do anything so devious as taunt an opponent childishly to get the reaction I'd like.

Okay...ready...three...two...one, go!

The Cero blasts across the plain towards me as I jump back to a position right on top of him. Seeing as him mouth is still open, I jam my stinger down his open throat and let the wire do its bloody work.

Shunpo-ing to Yumichika, I see he's also done, his opponent collapsing. Awesome. Now the odds are pretty decent.

His Shikai slowly reverting as he eats one of flowers, he tosses one to me then turns fully, "So what happened with you, Vice-Captain Tatsushiro? My opponent wasn't very entertaining. Kept wanting to talk things out and such. As if I'd spare her for something like that."

Smiling darkly in between bites, I lightly comment, "My opponent? He got all tangled up," Contemplating for a moment, "By the way, you got any idea what the hell Shiba is up to?"

He lightly shakes his head, "I have no idea why Vice-Captain Shiba is refusing to seriously fight his opponent, nor why she is doing the same. Ah well, let's just observe for a few moments."

I nod, "I have a few things I want to take care of real quick. Keep your Shikai up, and if you see an opportunity to snag her, do so."

Turning my attention away from them, I check my pocket watch, then hop into my inner world.

 **:-:-:-:**

Entering my inner world, I've found that everything looks deceptively the same. I say deceptively because everything is slightly different every time I'm here, albeit slightly. Well, except for the giant throne like thing Renzokutai is currently building. Out of skulls. That's new.

Raising an eyebrow, I decide the only way to get answers is to question her, "Ren, just what are you doing?"

Her usual sing-song voice answers back, "Building myself a throne...duh," Transitioning into a bout of maniacal laughter, she shouts, "Blood for me! Skulls for my skull throne!"

"... . Err, right. Well, I think it's time I took the book away from you. It's clearly having a negative impact on our collective sanity. Now hand it here."

It's as she stands that I really notice the physical differences that she's slowly undergone since we got the book fifteen years ago. Her once multi-colored hair has gone completely black, and I think I can see some horns starting to poke out of her head. One of her fairy wings has completely changed into a black angel wing, and the other one seems to be starting that process as well. Her skin has gotten paler and I think I can see the beginnings of a type of tail. Not good at all. Hopefully this doesn't affect her power...too much, as I have noticed the differences that have formed since we got the book.

She grabs the book and nuzzles it into her chest while baring her fully developed fangs at me, "You won't take it from me!" She smiles and looks at the evil thing and lovingly caresses it while muttering, "They won't take you away, My Precious..."

"Right then. Enough!"

Appearing in front of her, I nab the book from her and displace it, albeit temporarily until I can find a better prison for it, to a spot in my soul where even she can't get to with endangering her existence. After all, this is my soul, and I have near God level powers here, so long as I think about it...supposedly. I'm not quite sure about that, actually. That would be a good thing to know actually, now that I'm aware Muramasa will have to be dealt with in a couple centuries.

I need to do something to throw off her game, and right now fighting her will only feed her madness. After all, she seems to have the delusion she's a female Khorne right now. Which will end badly for everyone. Especially me.

She throws a punch at me, thankfully without her weapon, her self-delusions must be affecting her abilities, as she would never go with such simplistic tactics against me. I go to catch it with my left hand. But that's not quite how it occurs. Without any warning, my left arm bubbles and explodes, skin and blood coating the area, followed by the growth of where my arm used to exist into a writhing mass of prehensile black ribbons that not only catch her arm, but her entire right side and subsequently yanks her right into me. Luckily I manage to stay upright. Probably due to the ribbons currently coming out of my back that are bracing me against the ground.

Looking at her captured form, her only response while resting her head right under mine is to mutter, "Mmm, this is rather kinky. I didn't expect that from you."

While my face takes on the general consistency of a tomato I mutter back, "I'm sure. We've both grown, but you and I both always did like things more vanilla. We haven't changed that much."

Reaching my hand around her waist and snaking it up her exposed back to the back of her skull, I lower my lips onto hers. Now this is definitely taking narcissism to a whole new level, but hey, if it breaks her out of this stint, it's fine. After all, no one else has to know.

 **:-:-:-:**

Returning to reality, I check my watch, only to find just a second has passed. Not to mention I still have my left arm. Having a zanpakutō that affects time is useful for multi tasking like that. As expected, Neji has yet to do anything yet. Is this arrancar his secret girlfriend or something? I mean, neither of them is even trying.

Forming into my fingers into the rough shape of a gun, I grumble, "Oh for the love of... . Byakurai."

The beam of lightning lances through the air, barely missing out on putting a neat, cauterized hole through the arrancar's head. Damn it. I didn't want this drawn out any more. We're really late as it is, any if we spend another day way out here they'll send another squad out to find out what happened to us. I don't need that kind of black mark on my record.

"The hell are you doing? Don't interfere in my fights!"

Lowering my right hand to my side and bracing it with my left, I state, "Kaizō Kidō: Kikan Jū Byakurai."

Hundreds of lightning beams fill the air as it takes on all the generated electricity. For some good dramatic irony, I'm using an attack inspired by an arrancar to try and kill an arrancar. But hey, villains tend to have the coolest attacks. Not that I would ever become a villain for such a petty reason, but hey, since I have to be a villain, I might as well reap some of the benefits, no?

"Bakudō #81: Dankū!"

As soon as I realize it's being blocked, I flash over to Yumichika and give him a sad smile. But under no circumstances can I have witnesses, but he's, unfortunately in this case, non-disposable.

"Sorry Yumichika. This is gonna get really ugly, and I can't afford to be defending you as well. At your current strength, you'll just be a liability, and you can't die here. Hakufuku."

He tilts his head in confusion, and gets out one last question before unconsciousness fells him, "Huh? Why?"

 **:-:-:-:**

While Neji did block the bulk of the attacks, he wasn't fast enough and plenty had gotten through beforehand. They're both on the ground struggling to move when I arrive. Or at least, he is now. She's just flat lined. Not that he's realized that in his apparent... is that grief? What a drag.

Neji reaches his hand out towards me desperately, "Please, don't kill her Minato."

Pinching the bridge of my nose, I turn to him, curious to his reasons, even if it's a null point now anyway, "Why? She's an arrancar. A hollow. The enemy. Sympathy for the devil, Neji?"

His pleading face is so pitiful, I almost want to do something horrible to him like make him kneel before me and admit my superiority. But that's not what friends do, is it?

"Because," He begins, "We love each other despite all that. Try believing in the power of love and friendship. Believe in something beyond yourself for once, Minato Tatsushiro."

Affronted, I kneel next to him, "I do believe in something more than myself. It's just not the same as you," I wipe away a tear as I come to the realization of what has to be done, "Don't make me do this Neji. Please... Tell me that you don't really mean that. Tell me it was a ploy to make her drop her guard."

He rolls onto his back, sighing, "Would it surprise you if I said it wasn't? Just because love is division by zero to you, doesn't mean that applies to the rest of us. And Minato? We're in charge out here. No one makes us do anything."

Closing my eyes, "I know. I'm so, so sorry Neji. Hadō # 54: Haien."

Standing and looking at the sky in an utterly failed effort to block the screams that will haunt my dreams till my death, I whisper to both my late friend and myself, victims of an apathetic world, "You either die a hero, or live long enough to see yourself become a villain. You would have hated the second. You'll be remembered as a brave lieutenant who was obliterated by an arrancar's Cero, but managed to take it down with you. I'll make sure of that."

As the screams die and his body turns to ash, I chuck the unconscious Yumichika over my shoulder while beginning the slow walk to gather our comrades still amongst the living, trying somewhat in vain to blink back my tears.

 **:-:-:-:**

 **Author's Notes:** I have different personas that I use in life. My writing persona is like a peacock, so every favorite and follow gives me another feather. Every review helps my ego, lets me preen and thus inspires me to work a bit harder and faster on the next chapter for y'all.

 **Footnotes:**

\- That's about as steamy as I'll ever write. Romance and sexy things are probably my worst area, probably because my lack of personal experience in that field *shrugs with indifference*, with intrigue and action as my best. The only reason I felt I could get away with something so outside my comfort zone is because, as two parts of a whole, they'd presumably have the same interests. As for any subtext, make whatever you want of it, I'm not saying anything more on it.

\- You know, I realized, the more character development Minato gets, the more he slowly edges toward being a true original character as opposed to a straight self insert. Which is actually probably one of the hardest things with self insert works. To keep it a straight insert, you can have only minimal character development at best, relative to the story pacing compared to real life, unless tragedy strikes you in reality. Probably why most self inserts go stale or Sue. It's the easy path.

\- Kaizō Kidō: Kikan Jū Byakurai (改造鬼道: 機関銃白雷). Modified Kido: Machine Gun Pale Lightning.

\- The division by zero comment. That's not what he said, mostly due to language and cultural differences, but it's the closest analogy that gets translated right to my head and makes perfect sense to me.


	8. Hammer of the Gods

**Memento Mori**

 **Chapter Seven**

 **:-:-:-:**

 _March, 1801_

The most recent form on my desk had me baffled. After all, it wasn't something I expected.

"Oh that. Well, I think you'd do very well."

It's not something I relish though, "You nominated me for position of Tenth Division Captain."

Yasuo Shihōin nods, "Yeah. I know a Shiba usually holds the spot, but there aren't any ready at the moment. The late Neji Shiba has an older brother, but he's not a shinigami and his son Kaien is on the fast track under Ukitake, but still not ready. Neji Shiba's younger brother...Isshin Shiba, I think, he's not even a graduate yet, though it's his final couple years."

And god, doesn't that make me feel guilty. After all, telling the main character I killed his uncle is a great integration method. Not that anyone needs to know that little detail. I'm being nominated for the Tenth because Neji is dead. And ain't that the kicker?

Huffing, I sit back in my seat, clasping my hands behind my head, "I suppose so. But it's kinda nerve-wracking, you know?"

He puts his hand on my shoulder, "You'll be fine. You're a well respected member of the Gotei 13. Now why, don't you head over to the Thirteenth Division and visit your son? That always seems to cheer you up. I heard Ukitake recently gave him a position as a seated officer."

I just stare unblinking at him for a moment, "How do you know about that relationship? No one... ."

He gives me one of those 'I'm disappointed in you' looks, "I know you better than you think. I doubt anyone else has noticed, maybe Ukitake. Since all the signs show that you don't want anyone to know, I'll keep it quiet. I'll even see if I can hold off Ukitake."

And this is part of the reason I'm not as eager to leave the Second. I turn to him with a genuine smile, "Thanks dad."

 **:-:-:-:**

 _January, 1820_

"Captain? You there?"

I look up from my still pathetically bad sketches, especially given I've working on them for hundreds of years, "Oh, Yumichika. Come in."

He closes the door behind him, "A jigokuchō from the first division. All captains and lieutenants are being called for a meeting."

Yawning, I stand, grabbing my haori from its rack while I notice Yumichika strap on his lieutenant's badge. A necessary change. As Yumichika isn't the most important person to the time line, I'm hoping his alternate spot won't be terribly harmful. After all, the tenth's lieutenant isn't terribly important, right? Who is it by canon time anyway? Ah well, I'll check my notes later.

I close my eyes and look away from the kanji for ten emblazoned on the back of my haori. Damn it, Neji, this should have been yours. Why'd you have to be such a noble idiot?

"Yeah, yeah. Old man Yama is probably just gonna go with one of his long winded speeches...again. What a drag."

 **:-:-:-:**

"This is Captain Tatsushiro and Lieutenant Ayasegawa of the Tenth Division! Someone please open up!"

Walking back a step, I grumble a bit, "I always hate coming here. Old man Yama just had to make this place as intimidating as possible. It's a tad scary."

"You certainly don't look scared captain. Don't throw a tantrum because you have to see _her_ again."

"Shut up Yumichika. You can't possibly see my face from back there. And for the record, I would _never_ be scared of-"

The doors creak open and I hear a consistently louder cry, "Ahh, Minato! You're here!"

Before I heard that, I never thought I could ever break the laws of physics, minus the addition of functional magic. However, I have proved the universe wrong. Achieving zero friction while trying to run away is in fact possible...somehow.

"Which way do we run?! Where do we hide?! Somebody save me!"

I see the purple hair long before it reaches me, thus neatly avoiding the first flying glomp from Kirio Hikifune, newly appointed captain of the Twelfth Division. Ninja training has advantages. Sadly, while I mused on this point, she pinned me to the ground with a second one.

"Minato, did something happen? You're not up to your usual standards. Also, you changed your sleeve length."

She's looking at my arms, which are totally covered by my sleeves, where previously they only went to above my elbows.

Putting my best air of disinterest, I reply, "It's really none of your business. And when did we get so friendly anyway?"

Moving to hide behind my recently arrived former boss, I point an accusing finger at Hikifune, "Save me from that!"

A sigh comes from Yumichika, "Captain, please stop instigating. And never act like this in front of our men."

Yasuo Shihōin just sighs, used to my melodramatics, which is kinda sad, now that I think about it. What? I can't be the stoic all the time. You have any idea how dull that would be? I've been alive three hundred-ish years now. Have to pass the time somehow.

 **:-:-:-:**

Once we're all done goofing around, old man Yama calls everything to order. That he lets us finish first just speaks to the seriousness. This is the Quincy thing, isn't it?

"The balance of souls is tipping! We can't do nothing!"

Well, no shit, unimportant captain set to retire in about sixty years to make way for Rose. Now what's your name anyway?

I roll eyes, "And? Your grand solution to this problem? These so called Quincy are a problem, but we need to make sure we go about this the correct way."

Something I can effect. After all, Sōsuke isn't involved or really influenced by this except peripherally, and Yhwach will still steal the power from Kanae Katagiri and Masaki Kurosaki regardless. Assuming they're still born. Damn it. Can I do anything at all with anything?

Yama finally takes a turn speaking, "We shall offer the Quincy an ultimatum. Those that lay down their arms except in self defense against hollows shall be spared, while those that refuse and perhaps even take arms against us must die."

I wonder if this is how it panned out the original time. I mean, the players are a tad different. I would think. You know, I've never thought about the possibility that I'm already in a stable time loop crossed with having already changed the past. What if there is no original time? What if this how it's always going to be? Chicken and egg. Forever and ever.

 **:-:-:-:**

You know, in retrospect, I should have expected this. The Sternritter weren't created for the invasion of Soul Society. Well, correction, they were, but they hadn't been formed just before. They just had some different members in this time. Some old faces, some new. It really doesn't matter if I off a few then. I just need to be sure to not knock off any of the four elites, as they'll be easier, hopefully, to deal with as a known quantity.

The lieutenants are providing heavy support to our own boots to take out their rank-and-file quicker. Meanwhile the captains are engaging the elite Sternritter spread out and more importantly, alone.

A metric ton of rock comes flying at me, and I'm forced to dodge. There's no way I'm gonna try tanking that. I'm not Zaraki or Nnoitra.

"Rule Set: Boundary limit 100 sq meters."

So I'm up against two, huh? Shit. One is a girl with pinkish hair and the other is a guy with spiky black hair. Still not liking these odds.

The guy poses dramatically, then introduces himself equally dramatically...somehow, "Minaka Hiroto. Sternritter G. The Game Master. She's Meninas McAllon. Sternritter P. The Power"

Minaka Hiroto? That name sounds strangely familiar, but I can't remember from where. The girl tries to bum rush me while her comrade is being a drama queen. It's not well coordinated though, which makes me believe it wasn't planned. So either they don't get along well or they don't have good communication. Either way works for me.

"Well, I suppose it's only polite. Minato Tatsushiro, Tenth Division Captain."

"Rule set: Weapons only."

Taken aback, I look at him quizzically. What's he up to? I reach for my reiatsu, only to find it inaccessible and otherwise MIA, which is weird, as I can still sense the presence of Renzokutai. The hell?

"You like? You won't be able to use your reiatsu until I change the rules. Of course, we won't be able to either. But given everything else, it's a small price to pay."

For the first time, the girl speaks up, if only to yell at her ally, "What are you doing Minaka? You're not supposed to explain stuff like that! He seems like the kind of guy that'll figure out how to get around all our moves!"

McAllon, I think was her name is, rushes in to punch me. I catch it.

Her stunned face is worth is. After all, while she may have super strength, these aren't my actual arms right at the moment, and they don't feel quite the same way. The effects of the book on me aren't _all_ bad. Some are even quite nice to have.

He draws a heavy straightened cavalry guard sword, "Rule set: Boundary cloak reiatsu, Boundary cloak visual."

McAllon sighs unhappily, drawing out her own sword, a traditional western long sword, "Fine, might as well."

Interesting. And I'm in the mood to play around right now. Drawing the massive nodachi that was (is, because Neji will never be totally dead until he's forgotten in our hearts) Kubikiribōchō, I simply hold it a ready position, waiting.

McAllon turns to Hiroto, "Tatsushiro was mentioned as one of the nastiest captains to fight. Fighting fair isn't something he does. Don't take him lightly."

He gives her a nod in return, "Noted."

And they're on me. Their smaller blades clash against mine, but even two on one, I'm better. Of course, they say old age and treachery beats youth and enthusiasm. My long, sweeping arcs achieve both goals: making them stay at a distance, and making sure they can really only attack one at a time. And that gives me an instant advantage.

McAllon closes with me, putting her great strength to use, our faces each inches from our locked blades.

I give her an expression halfway between a sneer and a smirk, "Is that the best you can do?"

We break, and while I return my nodachi to its resting position, Hiroto steps out in front, "Stay back McAllon. I'll take Tatsushiro alone."

"Minaka!"

His voice turning serious is what stops her, "The world doesn't need shinigami!"

My smirk turns into a full on Cheshire cat grin as I goad him on, complete with a small reverse nod, "Come and try."

Gathering ocean blue reiatsu around his weapon, he returns, "So smug. But will that continue?"

Did he change the rules while I was locked with McAllon? He jumps through the air, spinning around in a series of pointless dramatics. It's as he comes down I bother to contemplate what his theatrics add. And then it hits me. He's building kinetic energy. But he's calculated wrong. And he doesn't realize it yet.

His blade is on the wrong side as mine lacerates his back. He'll never be taken seriously as a swordsman again. A back wound basically blacklists you amongst coworkers. And while that's all nice, I calculated wrong too. His back wasn't my target. His spin rate was a tad faster than it looked and I gave him that wonderful back wound as opposed to lopping off an arm. Oh well. They must be fairly new, as I'm no master swordsman, and this isn't much of a challenge.

But then I feel it. The gradual fading of reiatsu. Ahh, so I accidently destroyed Hiroto's spiritual powers. Well, I can even feel his AoE powers leaving the area. I let him run. He's no threat anymore. Can't even see us. I actually kinda feel bad for him. Being effectively dishonorably discharged from an organization that made up your entire life would a worse fate than dying honorably in battle. Oh great. Neji is rubbing off on me. His ideals terrorize me even beyond the grave.

But I should probably off the still powered one before her reinforcements arrive. As I move to behead her, another sword blocks mine. Well, shit. It's Jugram Haschwalth. Backing off from McAllon as she scampers away, clearly fine letting the big guys duke it out alone, I notice he's carrying a body. A body of someone I know very well, I note, as he throws it down at my feet.

The lifeless eyes of Yasuo Shihōin stare back at me, blood and dirt coating his dark skin. His limbs are bent at unnatural angles and there's a star shaped hole in his chest. It clearly took more than one of them to bring him down, but that's small recompense.

Twisting my head around three-hundred-sixty degrees, tilting it to the left ninety degrees and then smiling, I declare, "Bankai! Hofuku Konton!"

 **:-:-:-:**

 **Author's Notes:**

 **-** As for why it took me so long to become a captain? It's a lifelong appointment to a limited amount of spots. Have to wait for someone to get out first.

-The fight scene took really heavy inspiration from Final Fantasy. The Genesis and Angeal vs. Sephiroth fight as it were. Two guesses whose who, and the first one doesn't count.

\- Still looking for a beta. One of requirements is that I can contact you. Like, a response within 48 hours, unless previous arrangements were made. Having a beta I can't talk to is useless.

\- As for the movements I described at the end for my head, no that was not an exaggeration. Just think on its meaning.

\- Hofuku Konton (匍匐混沌): Crawling Chaos (assuming my translation method is being accurate, and it's usually pretty good). As for what it does, try to figure it out from all the previous information you have. I look forward to your guesses.


	9. Two Minutes to Midnight

**Memento Mori**

 **Chapter Eight**

 **:-:-:-:**

The pain reminds me why I dislike activating my Bankai. My screams become loud enough to shake the surrounding area as thick, metallic cords slowly pierce my eyelids and bind my eyes shut. The screams slowly subside as similar cords slowly bind my mouth. My skin begins to peel off in layers as my lower body morphs in to mouthy thrashing tentacles while my arms become the usual ribbons. Why do I ever use this again? Oh right, because this isn't the usual. Note to self, activating Bankai in rage is horrible, horrible idea. Because of that, I'm not the one in control right now. And letting a Great Old One rampage around reality, even while constrained to my body, will inevitably be bad, to greatly understate things. Put on the NEVER DO EVER AGAIN list. Yes, I have one of those.

In the inky blackness, numerous and inevitably uncountable dots of light form as in the center, a giant swirl of energy forms. The light it gives off relative to everything is almost blinding, especially since it's only in shades of blue, purple and a garish pink.

It's then that I hear the voice. And she's standing in front of me, six wings of white enclosing us. She laces her hands with my mine and begins to sing,

"In sleep he sang to me  
In dreams he came  
That voice which calls to me and speaks my name  
And do I dream again for now I find  
The Phantom of the Opera is there  
Inside my mind"

Hofuku Konton is really sweet and caring compared to Renzokutai's witty sarcasm. Or at least to me. She'd probably flay anyone else and fashion their skin into an overcoat. But she wants a duet on my (our? I'm not quite sure. Do zanpakutō have their own taste in culture? I'll investigate this possibility later.) favorite song, probably to calm me down, as she knows it always does.

"Sing once again with me  
Our strange duet  
My power over you grows stronger yet  
And though you turn from me to glance behind  
The Phantom of the Opera is there  
Inside your mind"

Extending my senses, I can tell Gur'la-ya is having an absolute field day beating Haschwalth into the ground. Suddenly, I feel. I can feel my shadow wreathed not-fist slam into his sternum, the bone as my not-limb enters his chest and accidently snaps off a rib. I'm still not totally in control, but we're getting there.

I take the opportunity to make a quip before Gur'la-ya reasserts control, "Aww, don't be such a baby. Ribs grow back."

As I'm kicked back into the recesses of my own mind, such indignity, I stage-whisper to Hofuku Konton with a conspiratorial wink, "No they don't."

"Those who have seen your face  
Draw back in fear  
I am the mask you wear"

Shaking my head lightly, I return, "It's me they hear..."

Regardless of our potentially differing opinions on culture, we both know this song perfectly, and stay in sync, "Your/My spirit and my/your voice in one combined  
The Phantom of the Opera is there/here  
Inside my/your mind"

Adopting a wry smile, which is about the only type that comes naturally, "In all your fantasies, you always knew  
that man and mystery"

"Were both in you"

Back to back against the encroaching shadows, which seek to destroy us here and leave and empty shell for Gur'la-ya, we continue, "And in this labyrinth  
where night is blind  
the Phantom of the Opera is there/here,  
inside my/your mind"

I regain control just in time to prevent Gur'la-ya from landing a killing blow on Haschwalth, which would irreparably damage later canon. Still, he'll probably die anyway if he doesn't get treatment. There are times that I absolutely hate plot armor, especially since I know I don't have any. He exits into some sort of shadow portal, escaping to fight another day. Good. I've come too far to mess this up now.

 **:-:-:-:**

My colleagues find me kneeling in the dirt next to the cold corpse of Yasuo Shihōin. I feel a hand on my left shoulder, and look to find it's Old Man Yama. Standing off to the side are Unohana and Kuchiki, heads bowed in respect for their fallen friend, as I know he been one of the few left in their age group.

"He died doing his duty. A noble death. We will not forget his sacrifice."

As much as I want to rage at him for his callous words, I can see he's just as torn up about the loss of a good man, a great captain, and a close friend of his. But we both know the drill. A commander cannot look weak in front of troops. And like my officers and soldiers are my men, the captains are his best troops. Highly autonomous ones, but still his soldiers. Slowly rising to my feet, I turn to face him.

"No, we won't. He died defending something he cared about. He would have liked that."

Yamamoto nods slowly and addresses the three of us, "Organize your scattered divisions. Get everyone gathered up. We're done here. The threat is over."

I don't believe him, but if I didn't know he was wrong, I would have. Regardless, I won't be able to convince him not. Or ever, he just has to witness it himself in a few centuries, if things go according to plan. Conversely, if my plan works, Inoue will be significantly more powerful by that time, so problem subverted. Now I just to worry about whatever upstart is chosen to lead the Second Division. Oh, I know Yoruichi will be in there soon enough, but is there someone else before? Or do they just wait for her? I guess it depends. Nothing but waiting to see, I guess.

 **:-:-:-:**

"Who are you? They already chose a replacement for Nohara?"

The blonde looks quite affronted, replying, "Yeah, I'm the replacement for Captain Nohara. Shinji Hirako, new Captain of the Fifth Division, nice to meet ya."

Hopefully he's better than Nohara. Nobody liked Nohara. His death is blessing, and I can't help but wonder whether he was killed by the enemy or _accidently_ fragged when he was focused elsewhere. Would explain why his flank suddenly collapsed and the First Division, which had been sitting in reserve, had to reinforce it. As far as things go, I seem to have gotten off fairly easily in terms of opponents. We lost four captains, more lieutenants, and hundreds of rank-and-file. The Tenth got off fairly light. Being actively involved in training your troops and making sure they know the playbook by heart really helps. Some captains are just too hands off with their soldiers.

I was expecting four empty spots at this captain's meeting: the Second, Fifth, Seventh and Ninth. But it looks like the Fifth Division's spot has already been filled by Hirako. He must have been just waiting for a open spot then, if he was promoted so quickly. They haven't found replacements for Yasuo Shihōin, Captain Katō for the Seventh or Captain Shiranui for the Ninth. Best check my notes later to make sure those spots get acquired by the right people.

Old Man Yama's voice echoes around the room, "First, a moment of silence for the fallen amongst us... ," We bow our heads for a moment, before snapping back, "Now onto business. Would any like to make any recommendations for the three open spots?"

 **:-:-:-:**

 _April, 1896_

The seventy-fifth district of Rukongai is a dangerous place. Well, not for a shinigami captain and lieutenant, but still, best to be on guard. Speed is of the essence here, so I've only brought Yumichika with me. I need my lower officers to make sure everything runs smoothly anyway.

"Captain, anything I should be on the lookout for?"

Biting my lower lip, I muse, "Anything...off. I know we're looking for an underground lab, I'm just not exactly sure where it is."

Yumichika just gives me this deadpan face, "We're on another snipe hunt, aren't we captain?"

Shaking my head, I reply, "Of course not. Well...maybe. But we have the most important part. We know it's there."

"Right... ."

Pointing triumphantly to a point in the distance, I shunpo over to it and open a trapdoor hidden in the dirt. That I used Renzokutai to look into the future was a gamble that no one else needs to know about. After all, if I couldn't find it that way, then I could just call it quits and head back. Since that would mean I'd never find it.

"Amazing Captain. The infamous Minato Tatsushiro playing around in the dirt. Truly a wonderful example of Captain level shinigami. Should I inform the press?"

"Smartass. Now come on. Let's check this out."

 **:-:-:-:**

Sōsuke's work on Hollowfication certainly is something, I'll admit. There's enough material to make a textbook on the subject. But unfortunately, he has yet to gain any successful test subjects. All the previous ones are destroyed. I know the answer to his little conundrum. Power. Yep, it's that simple. To successfully complete the process, one needs a lieutenant's reiatsu levels minimum. And I know he'll have some of those soon. About five years, as it were.

Rancid breath alerts me that we aren't alone in this room. I turn to find what appears to be a Vasto Lorde hollow breathing down our necks. Its stabbing attack can't get through my heavy and layered reiatsu though, probably due to a power reduction involved in hiding reiatsu, which is probably the only reason I'm still alive. Ain't that a sobering thought?

"Sakikurue, Ruri'iro Kujaku!"

The vines of Yumichika's Shikai lash out, hoping to catch the hollow. But he's too slow still. Maybe I shouldn't have taken him? He only needs another couple years to achieve Bankai after all.

It shifts targets, and Yumichika attempts to dodge, but ultimately falls, luckily taking a heavy bludgeoning swing to the temple as opposed to impalement through the frontal cortex. Still takes him out of the fight, though. Bloody peach, this is.

A bladed arm comes down on me, and I match it with my tanto. I'd use my nodachi, but it's not my zanpakutō, so I don't get the advantage of it being weightless. And besides, we're fighting in an enclosed space, so a weapon that big is a disadvantage. Not that my opponent seems to care.

A Cero blasts through the hall, and while I cut it with Renzokutai, the disjoined halves crash through the ceiling, starting to bring it down on us. What the hell is it planning? Or does it recognize that it's losing and Sōsuke gave it orders to destroy the lab if uncovered?

I can't lose all this research! It would be a crime against science!

"Yata no Kagami! Kūkanten'i!"

Now I've done it. Well, no one's gonna call a hollow to testify anyway, so I should be good. The patrols don't come out this far, which is a significant part of the lawless nature of the area. Out of my peripheral vision, I notice a chuck of ceiling come down right on top of Yumichika. Ouch.

Renzokutai's wire lashes out at the hollow, shredding an arm. I take a Bala to the face for my trouble. Spitting out a wad of blood from a dislodged tooth, I blast the beast away with a fire Kidō. Shifting back and drawing out a white cloth, the whole underground lab collapses in on us.

 **:-:-:-:**

Sentan Hakuja is such a useful little spell. Unfortunately I couldn't grab Yumichika, but then I would be trapped too. I'll go back for him later. Sitting back against a newly placed boulder, I extend my senses. The amount of reiatsu released has brought another captain out here to investigate. I can feel them approaching now, though they're too far away for me to guess which one. Hopefully it's someone decent.

Old Man Yama and Unohana won't leave just to check on me, so hopefully it's Ukitake, Kyōraku or Kuchiki. I don't want one of the noobies. Especially Urahara. I hope he knows his flaky act isn't fooling anyone in our ability tier. And it's...Hirako and Sōsuke. How the hell do I keep running into Hirako? Or is it the other way around... .

"Yo! How's it going?"

The top level members of the Fifth Division look distinctly un-amused. Sheesh.

Sōsuke gives me a short bow, "What happened here, Captain Tatsushiro? Head Captain Yamamoto sent us out here to investigate whatever happened."

Hirako frowns, "Don't speak out of turn, Sōsuke."

Waving him off, I mention, "Oh, it's fine. He's curious. It's only natural. Don't be too hard on him."

I can hear Hirako mumbling, "Don't tell me how to treat my subordinates Tatsushiro... ."

I shrug nonchalantly before continuing, "Oh you know, a Vasto Lorde made its way in and was hiding underground. Besides the fact that my lieutenant is MIA, it was no big deal."

They just stand there blinking for a moment, Hirako gets out a long drawled, "Okay... ."

Frowning and walking off, I wave them to me, "Come on. Everything was destroyed. Let's go home. Old Man Yama will have an aneurysm if I'm out here any longer."

 **:-:-:-:**

 **Author's Notes:** My Bankai was the hardest part of the chapter, and why it took so long. And in the end, I cheated. What made it into writing here was more like an unholy cross between Ichigo's Hollowfication and a Mutilator Chaos Marine from Warhammer 40k then a true Bankai, with less visible effects to observers. Raw destructive power at the cost of all else. It is the form with the most power I'll ever have access to, though. Of course, the not brutish form of the Bankai will eventually be revealed. You know, once I figure out how exactly I want it to work... .

And before someone calls foul on me being able to eject the cosmic eldritch abominations that are a Great Old One from my body, my Bankai is called Hofuku Konton. Remember what that means (which is in last chapters notes) and more importantly, who exactly that epithet belongs to.

Plot armor. As a story told in first person, an especially as an SI, I do have some plot armor. But the not-me in story doesn't know that's what happening, so not-me assumes he's got no plot armor and thus plans accordingly. It's really hard to separate Author-me that knows from Story-me that doesn't know at times. Just another reason an SI story is hard to do well.

\- Yata no Kagami (八咫鏡). Eight Span Mirror. Makes a perfect copy of the target, though limited greatly by size. Basically, make a copy of a small target. Forbidden.

So I decided to run this all the way through. At the moment, we're around 2-4 chapters from canon times, depending on how I want to do things.


	10. Swan Song

**Memento Mori**

 **Chapter Nine**

 **:-:-:-:**

 _June, 1901_

"This disappearance of souls is becoming rather problematic, you know? I thought we dealt with the Quincy."

I look over at Kyōraku, "We did. This isn't Quincy. It's something else. Don't sound so casual about this."

Hirako takes the opportunity to single me out and put me on the spot, "So what is it then? You seem to be better informed than the rest of us."

He's such a pain in the ass, "While the cause cannot be determined, the nature of the residual reiatsu is inconsistent with the usual patterns found with Quincy. The reiatsu is also inconsistent with ordinary hollow attacks. Bounts perhaps, Arrancar possibly, rogue Gikon maybe, or something new entirely."

Hirako looks at me suspiciously, "You're conveniently well informed, even though your division doesn't run research or spying as its trade... ."

Raising an eyebrow at him, I simply ask, "Are you trying to imply something here, Fifth Division Captain?"

This is one of those rare times that we have captains meeting with their lieutenants in the same room. Mine would be here, but I've lost him. Or rather, I found him living a normal life in Rukongai, sans any memory. None of my attempts to jog his memory work, and Ruri'iro Kujaku was being a vain, stubborn bastard as usual.

Unohana begins, trying to break up the tension permeating the room, "So who should be sent out to investigate?"

"I'll do it."

The 9th? Well, well, looks like I don't even have to butt in here to make sure they get it. How convenient. I always like when events run on a schedule that has very little to do with me. Less work for me.

I motion towards Old Man Yama, "We done here? If my division isn't going to be involved in this little shindig, then can the rest of us go? I need to make sure my soldiers haven't blown off work to party with the 11th...again."

Ginrei Kuchiki will probably give me another lecture on proper etiquette later, but whatever. I have plans for the next few days, and I can't be delayed.

 **:-:-:-:**

"Ahh, Aizen, why's a captain here? We need to kill him?"

Ahh Gin, you poor fool. You have no idea what you're dealing with. But maybe, just maybe, I can save your sorry ass later on down the line. After all, you just wanted revenge. But you never learned the phrase 'when you seek revenge, dig two graves.'

"Captain Tatsushiro has been our backer since the beginning. He's the one who funds us and, as much as it bothers me, taught me much of what I know. Among other things."

Tōsen examines me, "Do you follow the path of justice? I cannot work well with one who does not."

Why that little... . Doing my best impression of Ginrei Kuchiki, I look down my nose at him, "Do not presume to question the character of a captain, _fifth seat_."

I turn and walk back toward Sōsuke, "It's tonight, yeah? Muguruma and Kuna will be out there."

He nods, "Indeed. It will be interesting."

Shrugging, I look at the waning moon, "I know. Hirako, Aikawa, Sarugaki, Yadōmaru, Ushōda and Ōtoribashi will also show. We'll get them all."

Seeing genuine shock on his face is always worth it, as he gets out, "All of them? Really?"

Smirking, I comment, "Oh yes. It'll be quite the costume party."

 **:-:-:-:**

Sitting on a tree branch wearing one of those handy reiatsu concealing cloaks, I watch Tōsen cut down Muguruma and Kuna in the bowels of his Bankai. His Bankai really is quite horrible. Forcing others to helplessness before him. Does he gets his kicks off of that or something? Without being like Kenpachi Zaraki, one needs to have AoE attacks to beat it, which are in sparing supply.

Tossing a small blue-black pyramid around in my hands, I contemplate my own creation. Interestingly, while three different creations all share a similar shade of blue-purple, they are all different shapes and shades, perhaps reflecting the difference of character in their respective makers, along with their differing respective tasks. Urahara's is a clear blue rhombicuboctahedron, Sōsuke's is a violet cylinder, mine is a near black square pyramid.

Sōsuke doesn't know I have this, which is essential, because he'd abuse it. Or just go mad from what it contains. Urahara thought he could save the Visored, and he was right, mostly. Sōsuke thought he could make a non-sapient genie, and he was right, that's what he got. I thought I could make a way to gather the power of Yog-Sothoth, mostly because the temptation of near infinite knowledge was a bit too tempting. I was wrong. Mostly, anyway. Mine is simply a repository for all the knowledge I choose to input, the gatekeeper being a Kidō powered shade of myself.

Hiding the thing back in my deep pockets, where it can be safely hidden, I note that Hirako is currently kicking the crap outta Tōsen. Good. Serves the justice bastard right. But, it'll look bad if I don't help him. It's not like I've done enough anyway.

Appearing behind Hirako, I take my zanpakutō and holding it in an ice pick grip, knife him in the back.

He turns around, eyes wide, and gets out, "Tatsushiro! You're resp-," before he drops as the mask forms in totality. You know, people are quite like puppets. Every bond we form, good or bad, is a string. With no bonds, people would have no motivation to do anything. Just like a puppet with no strings. I've lost three of my four thickest strings: my best friend, my adoptive father and my best subordinate. I'll eventually lose my son too, but that won't be for some time.

Vanishing again, I come back to join up with Urahara and Tsukabishi. I don't need them of all people planning against me. It would complicate matters later. But now for the best acting of my life.

"Yo! What's going on out here? There was a lot of commotion earlier."

Urahara frowns at me, clearly somewhat suspicious at my appearance out here. I don't blame him. I would be suspicious too.

Nevertheless, he responds, "We aren't sure either."

Continuing to the battle site, Sōsuke, Tōsen and Gin are waiting for us. Of course they are. Sōsuke has always been a drama queen. Even as a kid. But then I can't say he's the biggest I've ever met, after all, I know his family. He gets it from his aunt. Definitely.

But I'm in the mood to beat around the justice idiot, same side or not, so I draw my nodachi and go in swinging. Can't bring myself to start swinging at Sōsuke yet. Tōsen clearly has not been informed of this part in the plan, so I get a long, but shallow and superficial wound across his chest before he can get his zanpakutō out. Unfortunately I can't kill him.

Tsukabishi fires his rather impressive Kidō at Sōsuke and Friends (TM) once Sōsuke is done with his monologue about his current evil plan. Wait...he's still going? I know I taught him better than this. While doing a monologue is useful if you're buying time for reinforcements or something, but when you're winning? Come on. That's practically entitling the hero to a second wind. Sometimes no matter how hard you try, you just can't get a message across, apparently.

Examining the bodies of our fallen coworkers with Urahara, I address them, "This looks bad. Hollow masks, it looks like. Should we move them back to the Division 12 labs?"

They nod and Urahara comments, "Yeah, let's."

Urahara is reluctant to use the Hōgyoku while I'm there, but common sense wins out. Things even go faster with me there then otherwise. The group that will become the Visored is still out cold, but they're stabilized.

Urahara sinks to his knees, "It was a failure. I couldn't reverse the process."

Frowning, I place my hand on his shoulder, "No. It wasn't a failure. They're still alive, yes? Then we didn't fail, even if we didn't succeed. They'll just have to learn to live with it."

 **:-:-:-:**

"Captain Tatsushiro, by orders of Central 46, you are placed under arrest. Any resistance will be met by force."

The hell? Something changed. This only showed up in one timeline out of thousands, "Very well. Let's go then."

As we enter the chambers, I must admit, the Central 46 certainly spared no expense to put themselves in positions where they have a delusion of power. Central 46 only has power because Old Man Yama lets them, and no shinigami barring Ichibē Hyōsube could stand against him and win.

Urahara and Tsukabishi are here as well, hands held in small stockades, just like mine. Urahara, though it's futile (doesn't he know this is a kangaroo court?), tries to protest his case.

"But I'm innocent! I've been set up by Sōsuke Aizen!"

"Lies! By order of Central 46, Kisuke Urahara is sentenced to have his powers sealed and be permanently exiled to the human world."

Tsukabishi takes his life sentence to Shugo with the quiet dignity that is so him. But me? Nope. Being the Plagueis to Sōsuke's Sidious was not part of the plan. But I should have expected an unexpected betrayal right before a moment of triumph. After all, he's just like his father that way.

"Minato Tatsushiro, for the crimes of treason, using forbidden Kidō, attempting to gain control of the Kushanāda, performing illegal experiments and the killing of many fellow shinigami, you are hereby sentenced to eight thousand years in Muken. Take these criminals away."

I release a bone chilling laugh as the guards begin to lead me away, "Blind fools. I'll enjoy watching you all die."

"Ten thousand years!"

A masked figure wearing a captain's uniform drops into the proceedings to save her childhood friends. Yoruichi will save them and get them along with the Visored out of here. I feel brief resentment that she's not gonna help me, her adoptive cousin, but the feeling passes as quickly as it came.

 **:-:-:-:**

 _Some Month, circa 19-something_

How long have I been in this chair? The thick black ropes bind my power in near totality, leaving me helpless to do anything. Has it been ten years? Twenty? A century? There's no way to know anymore in the void. I think it's starting to stare back.

The only sanctity I have is that I can still retreat into my inner world, seeking comfort with my zanpakutō as my only company. We're lying next to each other in the blue grass, on top of a small hill within my inner world.

"Hey Ren, you think we'll survive?"

Rolling her eyes, she snarks, "Maybe? Are we insane yet? The faster that happens, the sooner we start living again."

"Yeah... . I'm not holding out hope here."

My attention is brought back to reality by my reiatsu flowing back as the cords come undone. Who? Oh. Wonderful.

Rubbing my wrists and stretching out, and doesn't movement feel nice? It's true you know. You never realize how much you need it till it's gone.

Turning to where I think he stands, I greet him, "Hello, Demiurge. How's King Azy doing?"

His overbearing power comes down on me in warning and I move to placate him in my most simpering voice, "Fine, fine. What can I do for you, Master Hyōsube?"

As he relaxes, he clears his throat and states, "Minato Tatsushiro. You have the tasks finished that I assigned to you?"

"Well, you know, some of were rather difficult to accomplish and so I had to prioritize and-"

He cuts me off by grabbing my ear and pulling me in to rap on my skull with his knuckles, "Think, Tatsushiro, think. What do think will happen if I have to do these tasks myself? The secrecy of the Zero Squad will be broken. You don't want that, do you?"

"No, no. Of course not. I did finish them all though. I'll bring the completed list later on Saturday."

"Not too late Saturday, I have to head back Saturday night."

Handing me a new list, I skim through it. Seems easy enough. Even though some will have to wait for a long time.

"Alright, I'll make sure these get done with no trace of my existence."

He hands me a bracelet I recognize as a reiatsu cloaker, and declares, "Do not fail me...Nyarlathotep."

 **:-:-:-:**

 **Author's Notes:** And thus we come to the end of Turn Back the Pendulum and what my fate was at the end of that fiasco, thus ending Part I of this story. I decided somewhere in the middle of chapter 8 to go all the way through canon. Otherwise, chapters 9 and 10 would be 9 to like...15, but covering the same amount of space. So next a chapter or two (depending on what I feel like and if anybody states a preference) of 20th century interlude, before we reach The Death  & The Strawberry. Besides, I plan to take great fun playing with the Stations of Canon.

-This chapter is a bit shorter than the past few, but it was really just wrapping up the loose ends of Part I in a way that makes sense without being just a canon rehash.

-My creation? Basically a Sith Holocron from the original Star Wars EU.

-Is this a full on crossover yet? I have no idea, but whatever. I'm not relabeling it. Yes, by King Azy I do mean the Soul King, who in this work can also be called Azathoth. From what we've seen of the Soul King in canon, I would say he fits the "Blind Idiot God" title.


	11. Exile on Main Street

**Memento Mori**

 **Chapter Ten**

 **:-:-:-:**

 _December, 1945_

"It's all over."

I nod, "Everything is done. Things can finally be peaceful once again. Ne, Kaien-kun?"

Kaien Shiba, resident dead man walking, winces, "How can you talk so casually about this senpai? I heard they had to send an entire division down to Hiroshima and Nagasaki each."

Sighing, I turn to him, "Foresight is both a gift and a curse. But suffice to say, I've had many years to accommodate myself towards the knowledge that this would happen. Not to mention this was a near fixed point. We started living on Earth far too late to prevent this, so don't let it bother you so much."

"But..."

Sensing the reiatsu signatures in the area, I start walking away, "Shinigami. We should go. Discovery would be bad."

"Why though? Wouldn't it be good if we could go back?"

Running my hand down my face, I state, "Kaien Shiba was possessed by a hollow and declared KIA by Captain Ukitake. Minato Tatsushiro was an enemy combatant who should still be serving time in Muken for the next nine thousand, nine hundred and fifty-six years, not that they know he's out. Our discovery, especially mine, will make Old Man Yama himself come down. So, sure you want to be found out?"

He shuts up real quick.

 **:-:-:-:**

 _August, 1969_

Being in exile has been good and bad for us. I don't have as much responsibility, and can finally relax. On the other hand, it was rough at first. Trying to make sure we had proper I.D. and all that other stuff was annoying to figure out. How the hell does Kisuke do it?

But you know, for now I can just kick back and relax. After all, I've always wanted to attend Woodstock.

 **:-:-:-:**

 _January, 1992_

We've taken up residence in Karakura Town some months ago. When he asked me why Karakura Town, especially since it's under the jurisdiction of the Thirteenth, I didn't have any response. But oh well.

After all, everyone worth anything (anyone not a active shinigami from Soul Society) has set up shop here, so to speak but sometimes literally. Kisuke has his shop, the Visored their warehouse, Ryūken at the hospital, Isshin and his home practice.

Kaien and I are operating out of a small flat away from everything else spiritual. Unlike Kisuke and his small time candy shop owner gag, I've gone big. I'm the majority shareholder of a multi-billion dollar pharmaceutical company called Mid Bio Informatics, or MBI for short. Kaien is an officer in the local police force.

 **:-:-:-:**

 _June, 1996_

The first indication that something is very, very wrong (you know, aside from the usual) is that there's a second source of large reiatsu, instead of one. When there should only be one. Kisuke, Tsukabishi and Yoruichi all have reiatsu suppressing gigai, the Visored hide under special Kidō, the Ishida family and the Kurosaki matriarch don't have this much since as Quincy they take most of it from the atmosphere and Isshin has lost his power for the time being.

The only significant reiatsu should be Ichigo Kurosaki. It's not the nondescript shinigami assigned to Karakura at the moment, the power matches to a white ribbon. So what?

Casually following the ribbon on this rainy day, I stop far enough away to witness the inevitable death that will occur shortly. Masaki Kurosaki is an inevitable casualty. Without her death, Ichigo won't grow up into the tough guy with a drive to protect. And that would mess up everything, and make all my work for naught. Worse actually. With so many chances to kill Aizen, but didn't to maintain the canon, if Ichigo doesn't grow up to be able to beat him, then we're all doomed. Unless Hyōsube pulls through, but I shouldn't rely on him for anything.

I do find the second source of reiatsu. It's a young girl with orange hair. I hide myself with Kidō as I go to investigate. What changed that Orihime is here? And why is she so much more powerful than she should be?

But as I get close enough, my face changes from inquisitive to horrified. Because this is not Orihime. Not at all. It would be far better if it was.

Ichigo turns to the girl and points to the lure of Grand Fisher, "Hey sis, you see that girl?"

Because of course I managed to fuck something up so that Ichigo has a twin sister. I really should have accounted for such a possibility, as a person's genetic makeup is so particularly unique that chances of that particular person being conceived again are highly unlikely. Ughh, I've gotten rusty in exile, it seems.

"Ichigo? Natsumi? What are you two looking at?"

I wince as Grand Fisher jumps their mother, and pulling my large umbrella down so it rests on my left shoulder, I contemplate my options. Surely killing the hollow here won't make things too bad. While it'll deny the family closure, is it worth the people the beast will kill in the next six years before Isshin downs him? I mean, and god I've gotten soft, how critical is he towards Ichigo's development? The answer? Not particularly. In fact, it was probably worse for him, opening up old wounds that hadn't yet totally healed.

Mind decided, I rush over towards them as Grand Fisher decides to devour the children as well. I'll probably only have one opening, so I better make it count.

"Sōren Sōkatsui!"

The torrent of blue flame blasts through the air, searing the sidewalk and generating gouts of steam as the rain evaporates temporarily as the fire passes through. Grand Fisher, caught completely by surprise like I intended, is incinerated on the spot.

 **:-:-:-:**

As the emergency workers place the body of Masaki Kurosaki in a bag for transport, I talk with their boss.

"I told you, I'll take the children back to their father."

The man has the nerve to question me, "And I'm going to ask again. What relation do you have to them that allows to claim custody, even temporarily?"

I hate people like this. I understand it's needed, but it's such a pain when it becomes a problem for you as opposed to someone else.

Rolling my eyes, I just say, "I'm their father's former superior officer. But whatever, go ahead and call Isshin. I'm sure he'll either give permission or come here himself, which would make our argument pointless."

 **:-:-:-:**

When I arrive at the Kurosaki household with Ichigo and Natsumi, Isshin and Kisuke are sitting the living room, obviously discussing what's happened. Isshin quickly takes his children and puts them to bed before returning to join us.

Kisuke begins, "So... ."

I lower my head solemnly, "Masaki Kurosaki is dead. I wasn't in time to save her, but I was in time to kill the hollow before it took your children as well, Isshin. Assuming no outside interference, you will regain your powers in about six years, when Ichigo and Natsumi are fifteen."

He slams his fist on the table and it looks like he's about to cry, "I don't care when my powers will come back! First my brother, then the rest of my family, now my wife! Why? What did I do to deserve this!"

All Kisuke and I can do is offer him empty platitudes and our sympathy. I leave shortly after. After all, I killed his brother myself, was implicit in his families condemnation and stood by, watching, as his wife died when I could have prevented it quite easily. I have no right to be in the same room as him for the time being.

 **:-:-:-:**

 **Author's Notes:** Just a short interlude chapter, thought figuring out what scenes I wanted to include took a while to decide. Canon plot catches up to us next chapter. Despite all my efforts, the Butterfly of Doom still sucker punches me across the jaw. And before someone notes that my foresight comes and goes as is convenient, it works like this. My foresight is not perfectly all knowing, and can't calculate for things I'm not at least vaguely aware of. Thus, I have no problems with things I'm aware of, but don't know the specifics of. But it can't account for things I don't know that I don't know, if that makes sense. Thus, working on knowledge of canon, the existence of another character that shouldn't exist doesn't factor into what I can see till I'm aware of the discrepancy. Think of it like a mathematical sequence where you've gone through a decent chunk of it and then you reach a number that fails to follow the pattern, making you have to rethink everything.


	12. Appointment in Samarra

**Memento Mori**

 **Chapter Eleven**

 **:-:-:-:**

 _May, 2001_

Natsumi Kurosaki is an anomaly. A glitch in the system. My otherwise near perfect system. I'd like to say I hate her, but that would be incorrect. After all, it's hardly her fault. She has not chosen to actively throw a wrench in my plans. Hating her would be petty and pointless.

Erasing her wouldn't work either. Killing her would affect Ichigo and going back in time to prevent her existence is near impossible. So I'll just have to incorporate her into my plans, quickly changing as they are. If I remember correctly from Kisuke, as I was out of the country for business, Ichigo was given shinigami powers about a month or so ago now by Rukia Kuchiki. Good, good. Everything is proceeding as I have foreseen.

As twilight falls, I find her sitting alone on the banks of the Karasu River, aimlessly tossing stones into the river. Sitting down myself, not next to her, but several feet away, I toss a stone or two in myself.

Contemplating reality for a moment, I idly comment, "It hurts, doesn't it? When those we care about most, who for whatever reason we think will never betray our trust, do."

She flinches and curls up, and for a moment I think I've messed this up, before she turns to me, eyes wide and the beginning of tears, asking, "Am I that obvious?"

Lying back on the grass, I mutter, "No. But only because I've been through the same thing."

Looking at me, she frowns, looking ever much like her brother, and simply gives an, "I understand...I think."

She ends up falling asleep in the grass. Well, I guess I can't just leave her here. Picking up her relatively lithe body, I carry her back to my house, as it's much closer than her home, plus I don't need Isshin accusing me of anything yet.

 **:-:-:-:**

By the time she wakes up in the morning, I'm downstairs making breakfast. Rolling my eyes as I hear the scream, I just raise an eyebrow as she rushes down the stairs.

She manages to get out, "You! Last night? What...?," before I knock her out with Kidō and do a partial memory swap. Unpleasant, but her being hysterical will not help matters.

When she wakes again, she's lying on the couch and I'm sitting in a lounge chair across from it. The table in the middle has a couple plates of food. So I like my western comforts even when living in Japan, sue me.

Smiling, I look at her, "Morning, Kurosaki-san. Sleep well?"

She frowns, obviously unimpressed, "First things first. Who are you and why am I here?"

"Right to the point then, Kurosaki-san? Just like your brother."

I expect her to either accept to refute the statement, but clearly whatever issues she had are with her dear brother and she breaks into tears. Great. Well, rule one when dealing with something I'm not sure how to deal with. Covertly use Renzokutai to help me figure out what to do. Usually works.

Standing up, going to couch and sitting next to her, I awkwardly rub her back as she latches on to me. This is...new.

"To answer your first questions, my name is Minato Tatsushiro. We were talking by the river last night and you fell asleep. My house was much closer than yours. Your father is an old acquaintance of mine. His older brother, your uncle as it were, was my best friend."

Natsumi only nods absently-mindedly, but from her actions I can tell she's comforted by that.

Looking up at me, she almost pleads, "Can you tell me about my family then? Dad won't talk about it..."

"I'm not the best person to ask. I'll talk to Isshin for you though. Now anyway, what seems to be the matter driving a divide between you and your brother?"

She steels herself and sits up, "Ichigo is doing some cosplay thing. He's always with that Kuchiki girl in school, and she even sleeps in his closet! And he won't tell me about any of it! He just tells me to mind my own business! The jerk."

Ahh, now we get to the root of the problem. Well, it could be worse, "Tell me, Kurosaki-san, you can see ghosts, yes?"

She nods, cautious, before speaking, "Yes. And call me Natsumi. It feels strange to be addressed so formally."

Sensing a nearby hollow duking it out with Ichigo, I decide it will just be easier to show her. My wish is granted when I look out the window to see the battle has moved into our visual range. Or maybe my timing of things is not coincidental. Who's to say?

"See that creature, Natsumi? It's a hollow. A ghost that has lost its heart and become a monster."

She nods, focused on the fight, but asks, "What's my brother doing fighting such things? How can he anyway?"

"Well the full story of how you would need to get the specifics from an acquaintance of mine and your brothers, one Kisuke Urahara. But basically, Rukia Kuchiki is/was a shinigami who transferred her abilities to Ichigo. That's why she's hanging around with him so much these days. As for why he's doing it, even with the apparent danger involved? You would know better than me, but probably his protective instinct. Admittedly, your family is a prime target for hollows due to your high reiatsu."

Nodding, she turns back to me, "Is there a way for me to become a shinigami? Maybe if I could defend myself, he wouldn't be so worried."

I see, just like her brother at times. Hedging, I say, "Well, I have a way. But you need to be sure you want this. I won't let you half-ass this. I'll train you harshly. I won't get you involved just to have you die. You sure you want this responsibility?"

She takes a deep breath and tells me that, yes, this is what she wants.

 **:-:-:-:**

Taking her upstairs and then fishing through an unpacked box, I withdraw a small silver ring with a square white jewel resting on the top. After that I draw out a sheathed and unmarked katana while I put a glove on my hand.

Whapping her forehead with my gloved hand to separate her soul and body, she luckily has only a minor freak-out as she examines the chain.

"Now, there are three ways to convert a human soul to that of a shinigami without you dying and going to Soul Society like normal shinigami have. That said, each have differing levels of success. By stabbing a human with their sword, a shinigami can temporarily give their powers to a human. This has a low success rate, a failure will kill the human, and is technically against shinigami rules. But it is instantaneous. Second is Urahara's invention called the Shattered Shaft. He would break the chain, technically killing you, throw you into the pit and say find your shinigami powers or become a hollow. This takes about three days max. And then we have my invention. This ring. It will convert all your reiatsu into shinigami reiatsu and slowly dissipate your chain, thus eventually making you a shinigami, so long as you wear it. But it is the longest method. For you, this will probably take about two weeks minimum given your large reiatsu. But it is the safest and most assured method with no potential for nasty side effects like Hollowfication."

Thankfully, unlike Ichigo, Natsumi is in no rush and takes the ring, and almost immediately drops it.

Noticing, I merely question, "Heavier than it looks, isn't it?"

I hand her the katana, "This is an Asauchi. It is the base from which a zanpakutō is formed. Always keep it with your soul form. When you get much stronger you will be able to manifest it in your normal body, but that's a long time off."

She looks kinda skeptical at the last part, so I roll my eyes and then hold out my hand and manifest the comforting weight of Renzokutai.

"That little thing is your weapon?"

Offended on principle, I reply, "While most zanpakutō take the form of a katana, you should not be so quick to discount other weapon types, as it means you'll be fighting against something very different from the norm."

Nodding, she continues, "What's this zanpakutō thing you keep mentioning?"

"I suppose it's better you learn now. Kisuke and I have very different teaching methods, as you may later find, though I suppose you and your brother may have different learning styles. A zanpakutō is the main weapon of a shinigami. Each one is unique, as each is a reflection of that shinigami's soul."

Tilting her head in contemplation she asks, "But it's still just a simple weapon, right? How is the soul reflection shown?"

Even through that simple question, I can tell she's the more inquisitive sibling. Ichigo is more go for it, question logistics later whereas Natsumi is the opposite, somewhat.

I smile, grabbing a chalkboard and some chalk, and begin to draw out a somewhat scientific explanation.

 **:-:-:-:**

 _July, 2001_

A katana harmlessly flies over my head as Natsumi tries to land a blow on me. While my little device was converting her to a shinigami, I called in a favor with Kisuke to have him build a training area for me under my house, much like the one for his shop. I also encountered a rather interesting thing.

 _*Flashback*_

 _It was a couple days in, and I was trying to teach Natsumi more about the shinigami._

 _"So, you going to tell your brother?"_

 _"No," she replied, actually quite spitefully, "Not until he tells me what he's up to."_

 _*Flashback End*_

It was then that I learned Natsumi Kurosaki was the spiteful, grudge holder of the four siblings. Which struck me as odd considering how Isshin and Masaki are/were respectively, but then I remembered her maternal relations beyond her mother and it all made sense again. After all, they held a grudge for centuries. Nutcases, the lot of them.

Jumping back to achieve an even footing, I ask, "Natsumi, what do Shikai and Bankai mean? And why so few achieve it? Shikai is self-awareness. You have to be able to see yourself and accept it. Many are not able to do this. Bankai is self-enlightenment. At that point you must be able to see everything you are, can be and could have been. This is why fewer still achieve Bankai."

Scrunching up her face in concentration, she contemplates, "So is that related to why I can't achieve Shikai after this time?"

Rolling my eyes at her, I say, "Besides that this takes time? Well, let's go take a look."

We sit down on the ground, and she enters her inner world while I follow. It's not common, as there's only really three ways to do it: by being by design able to find backdoors like Muramasa, by being very close to the other person like Ukitake and Kyōraku, or by being much stronger than the other person and kinda-sorta forcing your way in like I'm doing now. There's technically a fourth way in that once I'm in hers, I can retreat to mine and invite her in if I want. But it still requires one of the first three to work, so it only kinda counts.

We appear in a castle made of stone and coral. Renzokutai manifests next to me, jet black wings curled around her in a makeshift cloak. I notice the red tint on her cheeks. I guess she's embarrassed to meet others in her usual stripper outfit. That'll teach her to dress more modestly.

"Natsumi, do you feel any sort of pull in any direction? I don't fancy checking every room. ... . Natsumi? Umm, where did you go?"

Just bloody peachy. When I find her again, she's standing in front of what can only be her zanpakutō spirit. It's a silver haired teen with red eyes. She's got a cigarette in hand, and her hair covers some of her face. Interesting.

She bares her fangs, a vampire then, "What are you doing here intruder? Know your place! You are not welcome! Begone!"

Ren, having somehow changed into a tantalizing black dress, flares her giant wings, shadowing us all, "Watch your tone, youngling."

Well, better stop this pissing contest between zanpakutō. While Ren will win, I don't need to foster ill will with Natsumi's other half.

"Enough! Natsumi, you stay here and figure out whatever problems you have with yourself that are causing dissonance with your zanpakutō. Our part is done, we'll head off. We have things to do. If you finish and you two want to see another's inner world, feel free to come through."

 **:-:-:-:**

Appearing in the mini galaxy that is my inner world, the final change before we could get the tome of things humans shouldn't know back to the Soul King, Ren and I tread across the stars, giants amongst them. The giant pink tear in space is place we both try to avoid, as it's where the _Necronomicon_ had been stored, and its foul presence lingers still at the edges of the world, though we have contained it at the gate.

"Ren, we need to talk."

She nods, "Are you sure it's me you need to talk to?"

In a flash of brilliant light, Hofuku Konton is standing before me. She latches onto me before I can even get a word in edgewise.

She looks me in the eye, glaring, "You better not be thinking anything inappropriate towards that girl. It would be so...unfortunate, if something were to happen to her, wouldn't you agree?"

Running my left hand down my face, I mutter into her ear, "Come one, you know better than any that she's not my type. Besides, she's my student."

Hofuku Konton gives me a face of clear disbelief, "Right... . And last time you got up to that kind of thing you were the student. Certainly didn't change anything. I hate that foul woman and always will for taking your attentions away from me, even for but a year, especially with the horrid way you took care of your bastard son. But you are right in that the Kurosaki girl is certainly not your type. So then, what is your type?"

We both take a misstep and ending falling. I'm lying on my back while she straddles me. We share a moment of laughter before I look her right in the eye, "Oh, don't pretend like you know. Don't you have a mirror around?"

 **:-:-:-:**

I come out of my inner world just in time to avoid a overhead slash from Natsumi. Quickly retreating and drawing Kubikiribōchō, I drop into a ready stance.

Even at a distance, I notice her smirk. Does she think Shikai will be enough to beat me? I too have a Shikai, and a Bankai. I'll have to remind her not to forget such basic things.

"Kakenukeru, Nuibari!"

It morphs into a greatsword variant, but instead of a blade, it's a giant needle. Interesting, but I'm more interested in how to kill anything with it.

She attempts to pierce me with it, and while I block it, it's a really heavy weapon she's got there. Her release command was...ah. Interesting.

"Nice sword you have there, Natsumi. But is it really a sword anymore? It pierces now instead of slicing. Quite...brutal in my opinion. Elegant, but brutal."

I really shouldn't be talking about brutality, but hey, if Renzokutai catches you, at least it's over quickly for you.

Natsumi rests her lithe weapon on her shoulder, "Yeah. That's what was holding me back. It took me some time to come to terms with the fact that it's not a nice clean way of killing. Not like the elemental weapons you mentioned."

Resting my blade, I prepare, "Well, let's give you plenty of practice with it then."

 **:-:-:-:**

 **Author's Notes:** So we've reached the canon time, but it's more side story for OC times. Poor Kaien Shiba, you know, if it's actually him, has done an exit stage left for a couple chapters. Next chapter we meet up with canon for the Save Rukia Quest and the SS arc. I'll try to not make it as long as Kubo did, and put some hopefully unique variations in, but I don't expect it to really last more than three chapters at the absolute max.

-Kakenukeru (駆け抜ける), Nuibari (縫い針). Translation: Run through, Sewing Needle. Another Naruto one. Lazy, I know. Do I care? Not really. As for her spirit, something like Inner Moka from Rosario Vampire. That's what I had in mind.

-Yes, I do act totally different with my zanpakutō and in my inner world than normal. But then, if you had a place where the only other thing there was a sapient manifestation of your soul, wouldn't you act a bit different? More open and relaxed? Most of us act differently alone then in public.

-When I reread the first few sentences, I realized it made me sound like the Architect from _Matrix Revolutions_. Then I realized, that's basically what I am in this for the _Bleach_ universe in this. Foreknowledge along with careful manipulation of the system to make sure it runs smoothly while personally staying in the shadows on that part.


	13. Stairway to Heaven

**Memento Mori**

 **Chapter Twelve**

 **:-:-:-:**

 _August, 2001_

I'm sitting downstairs in Kisuke's shop when I hear them beginning to make their way down the huge ladder. Let's see. Forged identifications, check. Authentic disguises, check. Two differently modified sets of Kaikyō Kotei, check. Anything else is stuff I always have on me anyway, so checking would be redundant.

"Tatsushiro-sensei! are you coming to?"

Oh? That was quick, "Hello, Natsumi-kun. Is everyone here?"

Orihime takes a look around, clearly looking for someone, "Where's Yoruichi?"

Right. My cousin. How did I forget her? Probably because she's been a cat for the last decade, and I refuse to refer to a cat as my cousin.

"Right here, Orihime."

Kisuke butts in and explains his super transformer gate thing. It seems pretty sketchy and cobbled together, but that's the norm from Kisuke. I'll question him on the details later.

"And you'll only have four minutes once we open the gate."

Rolling my eyes, I cut him off, "Kisuke, stop being pointlessly dramatic, I've done my own calculations. That's not the problem, or have you forgotten about the temporal distortion in the Dangai? The problem is the day. If we leave right now, I can guarantee we'll be racing against the Kōtosu. Luckily for you, I have a way of dealing with that...I think. Worked last time at any rate."

Because the first time around, their chance survival was just that. I'm not risking everything on the chance Ichigo might roll a natural twenty again. Key word: might. It's not worth it.

"So? Who cares about any of that? We need to go rescue Rukia!"

Ahh, Ichigo, you brash fool. Tossing one of my sets of Kaikyō Kotei at Yoruichi, I demand, "Put it on. I can do it myself, but then I won't have be ability to at least slow down the Kōtosu. If it's both of us..."

While she grumbles, she does comply. A cat wearing a vest thing is funny, but I do need her support, so I refrain from laughing at her. That'll teach her to be in cat form all the time.

"Everyone ready? Then get a move on!"

We rush into the Dangai, and right away Yoruichi and I send my tools out to temporarily stabilize the walls in the general area against us. Can't have Ishida get stuck. Every second is precious, as I really, really don't want to fight the Kōtosu. Not feeling like Mr. Incredible today.

As we run through, I turn to the cat I'm carrying under my right arm, "You know, why didn't you turn back to your original form, and then we could just shunpo them through? It would make this so much easier."

Ever seen a cat dumbstruck? No? It's pretty funny.

"And you didn't mention this earlier because?"

I shrug, smirking, "Oh, you know how we old-timers are, forgetting things from time to time. Why some days I can't even remember where I hung my car keys."

"I don't believe that for even a second."

"Anyway, want to go say hi to Yūshirō at some point? He rather misses his sister and cousin."

Yoruichi flinches, "No. It's best we don't. It would just open wide old wounds."

"I see."

 **:-:-:-:**

When we land, I immediately pounce on Ichigo and tie him up. I can't have him ruin my brilliant plan by doing his usual dumb shit. I mean, he'll get better, but still.

Wiping my hands, I turn to the others, "Okay, now listen. Yes, that is Seireitei. No, we can't just charge in. If we get close enough like this, a giant wall will drop on us. I have a plan."

"Screw you and your plans! We don't have time for this crap!"

Glaring at the offender, I remark, "Shut up, Ichi-chan, no one has asked for your opinion. Your half-assed shit ain't gonna cut it here."

Ishida is snickering at Ichigo, while Orihime frets over him. Yasutora sits like a statue, observing them both. Yoruichi and Natsumi are looking at me expectantly. Spoilsports.

"Okay, so here's the plan..."

 **:-:-:-:**

On the inside of Natsumi's shihakushō, I had her attach a small patch with the kanji for two. I simply brought out one of my uniforms from back then. I had kept them and got new ones when I moved to the Tenth. We're both in the uniform of the Onmitsukidō, which hides our identities quite well, and we have forged documents that _prove_ our membership in the Gotei 13. As former lieutenant of said division, it was quite easy to do, as I know all their intricacies and ways to show fraud. We'll be posing as members of the Executive Militia.

Sui-Fēng is a rather aloof commander, and as such won't be familiar enough with all the members to pick out imposters, especially when their faces are covered and mannerisms don't stand out. Aside from combat training, I've been teaching Natsumi all the proper mannerisms for a Second Division Member. This has been my plan from the start. Well, ever since I had to factor Natsumi Kurosaki into my plans. I'm not gonna do anything dumb like flare my reiatsu to draw away the captains to me away from the others. That would be both a death sentence for me, and overall slow Ichigo's development, the bigger problem.

Our passes resonate with the barriers, letting the two of us pass without dropping the wall. As we take up a temporary hiding spot, I can hear Ichigo shouting obscenities as he runs at us, only for the wall to almost crush him. That was actually hilarious.

 **:-:-:-:**

Now, I knew they would go to the Shiba's and use the cannonball thing to enter. Actually seeing it in action is another thing entirely. The cannonball strains against the force field before it finally breaks through. The light splits into four directions as they fail to keep it together.

Natsumi is equal in awe, "Is that... ?"

"Yeah... ."

"Did they really... ?"

"Apparently so... ."

"My brother can be really thick at times."

"This was someone else's idea. Even he's not this bad on his own."

"I feel I should be offended on his behalf, but you are right, as usual, sensei."

Patting her head, I smile obnoxiously, which is more for my benefit than hers, as she can't see it, "But of course. What kind of teacher would I be if I was wrong?"

We lean back and observe how they all shoot in separate directions. Observing, I note, "Ichigo will fight the Eleventh, and barely defeat Kenpachi Zaraki. Ishida and Orihime will fight the Twelfth and beat Mayuri Kurotsuchi, though at the cost of Ishida's powers. Yasutora will fight the Eighth and lose to Kyōraku-senpai, though he'll just be taken prisoner for interrogation. That's before the real fun begins."

Natsumi raises an eyebrow at my rather detailed explanation and I hear a rather unique voice as its owner sits down next to me, "Ara, ara, that's a rather detailed guess, Minato-shishou. You sure that kid can beat Kenpachi?"

"Gin-kun."

Natsumi jumps up and points an accusing finger at Gin, "When did you get here?"

"Hmm? Oh, you're Ichigo-kun's sister, aren't you? Your reiatsu feels similar."

I roll my eyes at him, "Stop scaring the poor girl, Gin-kun. He's one of the better reiatsu sensors, despite what he would have you believe."

"You flatter me, shishou. Your reiatsu is rather unique though, so I'm surprised Yama-jii hasn't shown up yet."

I snap my fingers, just for effect, "Supposed to be in Muken, remember? He probably thinks it's just a fluke, or lingering from before. It does that, you know. Anyway, how's Sōsuke doing?"

A grimace from Gin, a far cry from his usual creepy smile, "He's..well, you know, I'm sure. Clear?"

I lean back a bit, checking the skeins of time for any possibility that Sōsuke or Tōsen are currently observing our conversation, or will begin to do so. Nope, none. They're both busy. Neither of them have any possibility of overhearing us or discovering this. Tōsen is doing something probably related to his path of justice shit. Sōsuke is just chilling in the Central 46 Chambers. Slacking from time to time is a bad habit he picked up from me.

I nod back at him, "Permanent clear. By the way, Yamata no Orochi's death is soon when Susanoo obtains Yasakani no Magatama if he continues to attack the village. However, Yamata no Orochi may still live by leaving Susanoo to Hachiman, who has been trained by Tenjin."

I'd rather not be cryptic, but other shinigami are nearby, and I won't blow Gin's cover. It's not like anyone else would figure out what exactly I mean. Many pieces of our conversation are items or people that are not widely know...yet.

His normal grin is flipped in a frown, and all I can get out of him before he leaves is, "I see... . Well, thanks shishou."

Natsumi is looking at me, rather confused, as I mutter, "Gin, you stupid fool. You stupid, stupid boy."

"What was that all about?"

So she's trying to puzzle it out? Best of luck to her, she's missing most of the pieces.

"If I wanted you to know the details, we wouldn't have spoken like that, Natsumi-kun. Suffice to say that Gin-kun never learned a very important lesson, and unless I step in, it'll cost him his life."

 **:-:-:-:**

Twin pillars of yellow reiatsu blast forth from an area, flattening buildings around them. So Ichigo has engaged Kenpachi Zaraki, huh?

Natsumi is looking at it in awe, "Is that really my brother? So much power... ."

A sudden buzzing interrupts us as Natsumi dodges an ambush that would have killed her. What? Oh, not good. This potential strand sucks for us in most possibilities. Natsumi draws her zanpakutō and clashes with Sui-Fēng. The tiny captain swings at Natsumi, attempting...something. I really have no idea. Almost looks like she's trying to maim Natsumi instead of kill her.

On some unspoken agreement, they take the fight elsewhere. I see why a moment later. Someone else has ordered Sui-Fēng to take it elsewhere so my opponent and I have free rein. But now I know how we were found out. It was always a possibility, and I've accounted for it. Natsumi won't die to Sui-Fēng, but will lose and be taken prisoner for interrogation. Now me on the other hand... . I gulp inaudibly as my mask falls away and a few strands of my brown hair flutter down to the ground in front of my eyes, severed by one with far superior blade mastery.

"Minato Tatsushiro. I will not ask how you are free from Muken. The Captain-Commander and I both felt your reiatsu, and I asked to confront you. Prepare yourself."

Drawing both my blades, I take my opening position, tanto held in my left arm straight up with my right are holding my nodachi stretched back blade over my head, "Don't think I've just been resting on my laurels this past century. But since you went to all that trouble, I'll try to make it worth your time, _Yachiru Unohana_."

 **:-:-:-:**

 **Author's Notes:**

-While pairings aren't a huge interest of mine to write (the implied one Minato has with his zanpakutō doesn't count, as that's more "Mirror, mirror, on the wall..." type stuff), I do know other people quite like pairings, and only read stories for pairings. So here I am pandering to the base. I'm accepting opinions on pairings for Natsumi Kurosaki. Only a few restrictions: not Minato Tatsushiro (besides I have other plans for my avatar on that front in a eventual sequel [you didn't think those Sekirei references were tossed in for no reason, did you?]), no immediate family incest (because this is a series where it would feel out of place and forced), no Bounts (just because I hate them and plan to ignore their non-canon existence), and, while fan girls may rage, no arrancar. Because arrancar are still hollows, a cesspit of negative emotions made manifest. Despite what the die-hard Ulquiorra and Grimmjow fans would like me to believe, I have trouble believing any relationship involving arrancar will not, at least eventually, become destructive and probably abusive in some fashion.

-It's been mentioned by the reviewers that while Minato has a son, it never gets more than a passing mention. Yes, that is intentional. No, I'm not being a troll and stringing you guys along for kicks. Kinda. It just wouldn't be as much fun otherwise. Don't hate me? I've left a few clues, some super subtle and others a tab more obvious but stretched out over time, and I'll leave some more before we get to any sort of character reveal. For a Word of God hint, I'm a fan of juxtaposition. I'm thinking around the Battle of Fake Karakura Town for a reveal? Hopefully you guys like it. Or at least don't castrate me over it.

-As to the sudden addition of Japanese Honorifics? I realized it's an easy way to establish the relationships characters have with each other. In-universe, it's because of Minato's century in Japan where he had to learn actual spoken Japanese, thus incorporating the honorifics into his speech pattern, at least partially. As for using the -kun suffix for Natsumi, I have read that teachers often use -kun for older female students because it keeps the distance, but avoids teacher/student subtext from appearing, unlike what -chan would imply. I don't know how accurate that is, but it's all I have to go on.


	14. Meta Fiction

**Memento Mori**

 **Chapter Thirteen**

 **:-:-:-:**

A ringing reverb of spiritual steel accosts both our ears as our respective nodachi scrape against each other, brilliant orange sparks flying. A hidden dagger pierces my throat, again, and I drop to my knees gurgling on blood. A second later, we're up at it again. Bloody peachy this is. Just where have Sui-Fēng and Natsumi gone?

Her loosed hair falls around her shoulders, diamond scar visible, "I expected more out of you, Minato Tatsushiro. You have yet to show me why you were regarded as one of our most dangerous captains."

I jump back, panting from exertion and reassessing, "Well, I don't really want to fight you, you know."

A quick mental command and the twin gauntlets of my zanpakutō form on my forearms. I should have started like this, but I did want to test myself against an opponent that wouldn't kill me. That plan was an utter failure. I've gotten lazy, though that's no surprise. When it comes to the seven sins, Sloth and Pride are mine more so than any others. And that's a truly conflicting and thus lethal combination. Perhaps Unohana wasn't the best opponent choice. Probably should have chosen Kyōraku-senpai. Ahh well. And locked. Position found.

"And why would that be?"

I laugh. A chilling laugh, my voice unconsciously reverberating with the a fraction of an Outer God's power behind it. A faint sheen of poisonous energy surrounds me as I blast towards her as we hear the cries as Sōsuke's 'death' is discovered, "Wouldn't you like to know?"

My left arm moves through her sword, I grab her hair and yank her off balance. Swinging my legs around, I knock her to the ground, running my blade through her right leg and twisting it around to prevent her from coming after me immediately. It's hardly a fatal injury for someone like her, but she's not Orihime or Kirinji, so it will take her some time to heal herself enough to begin the chase. A blast of reiatsu catches both of our attention, though I'm towards it before she can catch on. And if I happen to be using my ability to slow her perception of time, well, only suckers play by the rules.

Flying across the land, I land a double kick in Sui-Fēng's torso before she can land a finishing blow, blasting her away into a nearby tree with a satisfying crunch of broken bones. As I land, my left foot gives under me as I land on a shoe filled only with blood instead of flesh, muscle and bone. And then I feel it. Oh no. No, no, no. It's too soon for it too have gotten this far. Damn it all.

Smirking, as I have no need to let anyone else worry about this, I extend my slightly clammy and shivering hand towards Natsumi, "Come with me if you want to live."

 **:-:-:-:**

You know, I've never really wondered why exactly Kisuke has so many bolt holes hidden around, but I don't think I've ever been more grateful towards him. We duck into one as the shinigami scurry about, fretting over the apparent death of Sōsuke. Well, this is all certainly entertaining.

Leaning my back against the wall and closing my eyes, I mutter, " The troupe is ready. The stage is set."

"What?"

Opening an eye, I lightly chide her, "Nothing to worry about, Natsumi. Just commenting to myself."

She doesn't look totally convinced, but it'll have to do for now. Can't have her ruin this anymore than it already is. My play has only certain paths I can allow inspiration on.

"Are you disappointed in me?"

She sounds so miserable that I have no choice but to frown and look at her, "No. Should I be?"

"Well, you said Ichigo would beat a captain. As would Uryū and Orihime. But I didn't."

"And neither did I. We both had opponents we couldn't beat."

Her surprise is clear. Did she think I couldn't lose? I shake my head lightly, then continue, "I knew we lost from the moment I saw who our opponents were. Ichigo and Ishida both brute forced their victories. They had idiots for opponents who were willing to oblige. Your opponent, Sui-Fēng, you couldn't do that with. She would never settle to allow that. My opponent, Unohana, was simply better. Far better. Honestly, you're lucky. If Sui-Fēng had been really trying to kill you, I wouldn't have been able to save you in time. I could say the same about my battle."

She sits back while I stretch out my cramped arms, "So, what now? What is everyone else doing?"

"Sado, Orihime and Ishida are all sitting in prison. Ichigo has or will shortly encounter the elder Kuchiki sibling. He should count himself luckily. Byakuya's current power is but a drop in an ocean compared to what his grandfather, Ginrei Kuchiki, commanded in his prime," I smile fondly at some old memories, "And I should know. I consider myself lucky to have been acknowledged as worthy of my rank by the old wind-bag."

Given that she's never faced Byakuya, I can't blame her for not really understanding the comparison. In retrospect, it wasn't the best choice, as only the elder amongst the shinigami would understand, truly. But I digress. Shaking my new left foot lightly to get used to the altered weight, I frown. Covertly shadowing my arm from Natsumi's sight, I examine the faded uneven eight pointed star tattooed upon my left inner bicep. It's darkening faster now. Fuck.

 **:-:-:-:**

"If you could see me now, would you be proud of me? I'm honestly not sure, but would you understand why this was necessary?"

I run my fingers over the masterfully engraved name. Yasuo Shihōin 998-1820. Captain of the Second Division. Beloved superior officer.

"But you were so much more. At least to me. You were always more understanding of doing what was needed for the world, even if it was conventionally considered wrong. That's why you were always regarded as the best head the Onmitsukidō has ever had. That's why you were such a good match for my philosophy."

Kneeling down, I lay a bouquet of Anemone and Gladiolus at the bottom of the tombstone, "Gods, I miss your presence. How you would always reprimand me for instigating. How you would cheer me up when I had done something distasteful for the greater good. It's true, you know. You don't know what you have till it's gone."

Leaning my forehead against the cold marble and closing my eyes, I whisper to the wind, "Father, if you were the one burdened with nigh-omniscience, would you have come to the same conclusions and made similar decisions?"

 **:-:-:-:**

"So what are we doing?"

I set the Tenshintai down in our open spot. I'm using one of Sōsuke's old labs as our training area. Yoruichi and Ichigo are using one of their own holes, and we shouldn't interrupt them.

"Bankai training. Same as your brother. This doll will allow you to, probably, learn it in about three days, assuming you don't die at the hands of your zanpakutō. The power multiplier will be needed, and the other methods I'm sure you don't want."

She just raises an eyebrow at me, "Other ways? That don't involve what basically amounts to possible suicide?"

Ahh, the innocence of youth, no power is gained without sacrificing something, "Well, I could always use my own abilities to heavily distort time in this area. If, of course, you don't mind being a forty-five year old stuck in the body of a fifteen year old when we're done. Remember, it normally takes ten years to obtain Bankai. Another ten to master it. And then we would spend another ten to make sure you wouldn't need it. The mark of the greatest is that they almost never need to use their ultimate trump card."

She walks a ways away and contemplates her options for several minutes, before coming back, "Alright. Let's go with..."

 **:-:-:-:**

Four days later, as we run towards Sōkyoku Hill, I get a bad feeling. I activate Renzokutai to isolate the timeline giving me said feeling, for this will be just grand in the worst way possible. I just know something is going to go horribly wrong. Oh. Oh gods. Well, shit. Even now I can begin to hear it all.

"Tōsen! Explain yourself if you can!"

"So this is the Hōgyoku. It's so small. Well, I have no further use-Gin?"

I arrive just in time to see Gin's zanpakutō go through Sōsuke's chest as he depowers from removing the Hōgyoku from young Rukia.

"Ara, ara, sorry, Captain Aizen. Korose, Kamishini no Yari."

Well, best take advantage of this. Feeling Renzokutai materialize on my arm, I leap towards Tōsen. My left arm passes through his block and his body as my hand grasps his heart and plucks it from his body. Landing behind him, I turn on my heel and shred his corpse to pieces with the mono-filament wire of my right arm stinger before destroying it completely with a low level fire Kidō.

"What? What are you guys doing?"

I reach down and grab the Hōgyoku before slotting it in my pocket and walking towards an open area where we'll be okay, "Gin-kun. Whatever happens now, you need to follow my lead," I turn to the other member of our party, "Natsumi-kun, you have a final choice. After this, there is no turning back. Stay with your brother - and the story ends, you all dead in a stagnating world of hypocrisies where your very existence is considered a crime against the natural order. Come with me - you stay alive and I show you just how interesting the world can become with a changing of leaders."

She places her hands on her head, presumably struggling with the decision.

"And did you know all that earlier? Did you intentionally lead me to take this path?"

I sigh, keeping my voice as level as I can despite my annoyance at having to adjust so many of my plans on the fly, "Natsumi, let me put it this way for you. I brought you to the door, but you're the one who ultimately decided to walk through."

Yoruichi and Sui-Fēng maneuver around me, "It's over Tatsushiro. Make a move and you die."

"I see. Is that so?"

"Sorry shishou, I got myself captured."

"Don't you see? There's no place for you now."

As the rest of the Gotei 13 flash in, I allow myself a small smirk as I see Natsumi give me a covert nod.

"Tatsushiro!"

"Who is he?"

"Minato Tatsushiro was once-"

As I sense the incoming presence, I allow myself a brief frown, as I have no speech prepared like Sōsuke did. No matter. Everything is derailed with no chance of getting back on at this point, so what's one more change?

The light of the Negacion come down in three pillars of yellow light. Our captors quickly jump away, reasonably worried about what may happen if they are partially caught in an alternate dimension.

"Ahh, that's too bad. I wouldn't have minded being your prisoner for a tad longer...Good bye, Rangiku. I'm sorry."

"Natsumi! What are you doing?"

"You don't want to understand anything that you don't have shoved down your throat, dear brother. I have no need to justify myself to you."

Yoruichi looks up at me, "So, Hirako was right about you. You were on Aizen's side the whole time, another student stepping up to take his dead teacher's spot, and were just playing us, me, the whole time."

I give a distorted facsimile of a smile, "Hirako. A deluded fool. Too arrogant to see underneath anything. No, I was not on Sōsuke's side, nor his student. It would be correct to reverse both those statements, rather, he was on mine, and I was the teacher. I didn't want to betray you or Kisuke, Yoruichi. However, Death and Fate have taken the stage. We must all play our parts."

After my last parting comment, I take out a small photo of my better half and take a long glance at it before the darkness of Hueco Mundo swallows us up completely, "I never wanted it to come to this. It seems I may not see you in some time. Forgive me my carelessness, Miya."

 **:-:-:-:**

 **Author's Notes:**

-Did I build up only to fall short on the battle with Unohana? Undoubtedly, but that's part of the reason it took longer than usual. It took several attempts to settle on an outcome I liked. Trying to balance Unohana's badassery while not writing myself into a corner with my back to wall was hard. So I eventually went for the classic Exit Villain Stage Left.

-Don't' tell me, people want to spar with me on my arrancar relationship views. Yep. Die-hard arrancar fans bringing pitchforks and torches? Most likely. Bring it on. Honestly, I do like some of them. And thus my opinion is changeable with a decent enough argument. But you know, fridge logic and all on Hollows was in play.

-Have I radically changed the plot from the original plan of mine, and thus some previous author's notes are now irrelevant? Of course. I've been reading _A Song of Ice and Fire_ recently, and that impact should be felt on the plot. This is not a heroes-will-always-triumph and never die story. Ilyn Payne is ready to receive.

-A commenter noted how I was kinda the Gendo Ikari of this AU _Bleach_ 'verse. I went back and reviewed _Neon Genesis Evangelion_ , because it had been some time. I have come to the conclusion that Minato Tatsushiro is worse than Gendo Ikari. Gendo at least had romantic love (if in a twisted, yandere way) to give as a reason for all his asshole actions, while Minato has no such thing when he decided on his path, reducing his motives for his dickery to (to use the TV Tropes term) It's All About Me. But hey, that is your author at his core. A life-or-death world has just served to massively help it along in a the course of a few centuries.

-I found out the other day that someone recommended this on TV Tropes on the Bleach FanficRecs page. They even made a trope page for it. So, hats off to whoever took the time to do that.


	15. The Dreaded Author's Note

**Author's Note:**

This story is not being abandoned. However, after some late reviews, I have made some decisions. PBComplexion, I doubt you'll read this, but honestly thank you. I really needed a good rant at my failing story. Looking back, the set-up is more wannabe drabbles than a coherent story. Which is of course not the intention, and thus not good.

So, this story is currently halted. What I'm going to do is go through every chapter, flesh them out and try to make things less confusing. After that, I'm going to re-post the edited versions in a big lump sum. In this endeavor, I'm hoping a might get some of you to do Beta work for me and help me by pointing out any plot holes and such. It would make things both faster and better. PM if you're interested, hopefully some of you are...


End file.
